Muh big(ly boring) thoughts

I got exams. I do relaxation techniques everyday. I am holding up pretty well since I dropped one of my depressant without even telling doc. Yes, I had done it before. I know the effects of severe disturbances are unlikely for me but I’ll go back to the pills if I am getting too bugged by the insect in my mind.

I’ve dropped T.V altogether. I mean I have for a long time already. And I am NOT up for listening to bullshit cable-news. I’ve lost hope and only want news from people who first fack-checks news- like James Corbett who does rediculously intensive data analysis and gives proper sources (instead of going “Scientists agree” or “Experts say”, or simply “Sources say” trying to be indefinite). Only thing I disagree with on James Corbett, from as far as I’ve consumed his content, is on  the topic of global warming- he doesn’t believe in it. And I am not into Philip DeFranco because his type of news doesn’t go beyond  America (and how it willl affect other countries and vice versa)

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Some 5 facts About Me

Thanks to Anne for giving me the Dragon’s Loyalty Award! 🙂 Here are 5 facts about me

  1. I usually listen to videos at 1.5x speed. The one I am listening to now is Why domestic violence victims don’t leave as I write. “I never once thought of myself as a bettered wife”. Please, don’t make statements like, “Why didn’t he/she just leave?” when you aren’t the one giving them psychological comfort. And you wouldn’t be making such statements if you were. “Abuse thrives only in silence”- Leslie Morgan Steiner

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  2. I hate that people dare label people bleeding at the hands of US-military as “refugees” in Syria, Philistine, Iraq, etc They aren’t “swarms of refugees” they are humans who are suffering for two things- their timing and place in life- both of which could’ve been ours. OURS. You’re ONLY not affected by having loud air-force flying over your homes, dropping bombs at whatever time, because of where you are. You wouldn’t be ‘another annoying refugee’, you would be a human suffering unfairly trying to save yourselves. Please, no more of the “swarms”-of-refugees-are-taking-over-our-developed-country-from-wars(…-we-started). See the picture of the fishes above this para

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  3. The one thing I wish my Mother would do as I was a kid is not just ignore me whenever she wasn’t interested in what I was saying. And also actually talk with me about what I was saying (instead of ordering or saying, “Shh”). She still does this (not the “shushing’ part though lol), and I do the same with her now . I outright call her on it, “Ma, I don’t wanna hear that, it’s so boring”. lol But I felt like being ignored for your thoughts was something normal.
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  4. I have loads of news-sites bookmarked which I visit daily. I can’t trust news from one side only because there’s always a spin on what they choose to share. Most news-networks are going to screw you up in being really uninformed, but at least we a get a bit of what’s happening.
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  5. I am guilty of using words I don’t know the meanings of
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Another meme I just wanted to share, children weren’t taught to see color :))))

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Demons’s Harps

We’re erasing South-Asian civilization with our obsession with the West. We use English words in our conversations to sound “internationally smart” (or however they want to sound). Some use really bad English just for the sake of it. I myself don’t know good Bangla and yet I was about to say these people should be made to stand on the gallows. I just learnt this word “gallows“. And the thing I wrote about being made to stand on gallows is extreme, forget that part.

I think I am a patriot, like I will have our flags flapping furiously…in some places.

Well. I hate it … I get that it’s an international language, but how are we to conserve out nationality that way? We need to f*cking lay down the rule of speaking “nationally” on media . We can’t let our history disappear.

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Frankly,your kids are doomed

We are orienting in the direction of music all about “that booty”. Kids are learning their bodies are highly sexualized; they need to look a certain way to be of any worth. Media is our primary source of obtaining the directions of life, am I right? (I wish I wasn’t). But what can you do? Everyone’s young, gullible and when everyone’s doing it, you gotta to. Dare to be different? You’re a clown.

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Dying for introspection

You see, I have been talking more about events than my feelings on events (at least, to myself). And it hurts to not know what I am feeling xD It’s like I don’t know what I feel before I put sh*t out there. And now I putting sh*t out there about putting sh*t out there.

I am boring! Waaoo. OK, brain-dump over. I am a little hungry. NO HUNGRY IS NOT A FEELING. I feel better.I felt a little crappy before, but now I feel a lot better. Damn, writing about it makes me feel even better. Seriously. You non-writers (how do you stay non-writering?) outa try it. GOSH! EMOTIONS! OK. Continue reading

Robin Williams

I miss Robin Williams. I didn’t even know what his name was before he died, I just knew I loved his personality and his acting. In Mrs. Doubtfire, Dead Poet’s Society, The Crazy Ones and so many other films.

I was watching BBC without any reason a year exactly from yesterday. And I saw Robin Williams’ face in the news. I was surprised that BBC was showing a celebrity’s face. In shock I read the headline to see what the deal was. It was devastating news.

I told Mom that an actor I knew had died whilst holding back my emotions of deep grief. She said things like that happen in a matter of factly way.

I went back to the other room and watched the news again. I switched off the T.V and lied in bed. And I started crying. Out in shock, disbelief and of course, grief. I never ever cried for a deceased person before.  I don’t like thinking back to that day, I was so hurt. I felt so connected to him from the T.V screen.

It was unbelievable that a moving, breathing person on screen, the person whom I loved so much, wasn’t on this planet anymore.

I knew that the younger generation, like me, who were familiar with the West were devastated to know this. I was surprised when I heard two of my Uncles were upset from the news too. Both of them knew him from Mrs. Doubtfire. So I felt less “pathetic” for crying over a celebrity since I knew some might think it was a superficial cry from a “fan-girl”, and that’s why I couldn’t share this as openly as I wanted.

Not a long time after, the Emmy Awards was airing and the host took some moments of silence as they remembered the death of Robin Williams. His picture on the screen, again, touched me deeply.

Yesterday was the first anniversary after his death, his suicide. I can’t believe he hid his pain all these years  under his humorous, lively and charismatic personae.