First Impressions…

I’ve decided to make a post in response to the last comment, where you raised an interesting point on how Muslim countries can deal with diversity. The first four paras are what I’ve already written to you, so you can skip them. Ever since I saw this tweet, I wanted to write a post on this, and I thought I would take the opportunity here.

A couple things I want to point out first-

a) I would most probably be the kind of person who wants to go to a cinema AND not want to miss the prayers. Like that lady, obviously. In our religion, you pray TO the God, you don’t pray for attention- that itself is spoken against of. You don’t ‘flaunt’ your deeds.

b) This woman is sitting in a corner praying, and in my belief, because the time was running out to go to her house and THEN pray and by then the required time to do the salat will have ended. Which, if I were at a cinema and late to go home, something I WOULD probably do.

c) My father once prayed on a moving bus with an extremely congested seat where he couldn’t comfortable place his legs, but he prayed through because he was getting late to go home where he could’ve prayed alone. He had to bend in an uncomfortable way, sitting right beside me, and pray because that’s all he could do then before time for salat ran out. Our family had to pray multiple times in public just because time was running out for the prayer-time to be over.

d)Cleanness in salat is very important. Notice that she sat on a chair instead of on the ground, so it showed that she needed a clean space to be able to pray (not to mention, all the other parts of salats that involve putting your head to the ground). It’s in Canada, so it’s obliviously not a place where there are prayer rooms, it being a secular country.

Alright, now that I got those our of the way.

I believe people from every religion should be able to pray whenever they want- because…..they’re just praying. It doesn’t have to do with you or me. And not every country can accept public prayers. I doubt that anyone from other religions would be able to freely pray in a strictly Islamic state.

I just want to say-  I am not here to represent a group. And I believe a lot of my other Muslim brothers and sisters would agree that we are individuals with our individual qualities. We are here to represent ourselves, with our individual deeds. Not to show for a group. No one is responsible for anyone’s deeds but themselves, as spoken of in our religion itself.

I know that Canada is an awesome country, it’s the one hope I had after US had those two candidates. I know Canada pretty much rocks! And it’s for those reasons I want to go there because opportunities in countries like mine aren’t much. Anyhow…

And I do know this- When in Rome, do as the Romans. I would know this best in my own country where certain things, which are totally fine in other countries, are not okay here. Does not mean I agree that people shouldn’t be allowed to be themselves- my personal value is that as long as it doesn’t have anything to do with me, let them be.

But the main point of this post is, what one group from a faith does- isn’t a reflection of the entire faith. The man in the tweet was pointing and going, “Oh, look. An immodest flaunter, we have!” It seems like over-generalization is his thing, AND that’s fine with me, as long as you don’t inflict on my rights. As with praying as long as it isn’t going against with others’ rights. Again, that’s my thoughts. And what other leaders do isn’t a reflection of me or many other Muslims.

Well, I think that’s basically it. I know, I wanted to end this post really nicely, but that’s all I could do 😥

Other than the whole, “I ain’t no one’s likeness, I am too good and uniquely fresh, you know you want to be a Mon like me” (Joking! About the last bit) I was just wondering how easily it could’ve been me or my own mother that was praying there. And then this stranger with a video-camera would record and make such big statements. All I’ve learnt from that video is, even if I can’t find a prayer room or a quiet place to pray in Canada- if I sit quietly in a corner and do pray, it’s not going to be okay (in such an advanced country, which is kind of a shame…….please don’t judge me! I am nice!)

When in Rome, do as the Romans. And now that I learnt this, I now KNOW I can’t do it. That’s fine. But these rules should be spoken of in that country, made more clear of- people should do something about it. Instead of judging on a women sitting knees bent on a bench. The man who tweeted that video has a lot of followers. More than me! It’s sad, I am more fun and less not-fun than that guy. It’s not fair. I am less judgy on first meeting with people. Karma shouldn’t ignore m, that bastard karma.

I hope you got the answer from this lone-y. You are quite right in your statement that Muslim countries are much stricter. I won’t disagree, I know it so well! But the main point being- no group- whether it does good or bad- does not reflect how good or bad I am. I really wanted to say something in response to the guy who was spreading such negativity- that Tarek guy on twitter- you’re a mean one Mister…..I know the me also being someone who can trust the media without doing research, but really……you know, we’re all individuals. I am an individual, what I do doesn’t reflect anyone other than myself.

I was very scared of posting this because…you know…politics and stuff. But please no mean comments, I honestly cry over things people say to me online (I am dead *sniff* serious!)- don’t go breakin’ my heart; you could if you tried.

Vulnerability Series: 1


In this series, I open my heart more; I will share some of my deepest thoughts. I will put these in the rants categories 😮 These will be a bit messy as I share my thoughts as they come. This will be my totally imperfect, vulnerable side other than the happy bubbly person you guys see, that’s also a part of me, but this is the secret (not so secret anymore) part of me. Please don’t judge, these are simply my thoughts expressed openly. If you don’t like them, what are you doing here?

I want to appear as this sweet girl so people love me. I just can’t be afraid to be weak so much. Every moment I just want to cry. I just want to be somewhere there’s nothing to be afraid of.

Where can I not be bored? Where everyone is interesting and doesn’t talk superficial bull?

I want to play. I want to make weird noises. I want to be safe without my hijab.

I hate Lolla. Lolla is a bitch who doesn’t care about anything. She even kicked me when I said something I “wasn’t supposed to”- though she did apologize, but she is still a bitch. She even made fun of me when I tried to hug her before and was all, “Hey, wow, I am not bi too!” Is she flattering herself?

I hate men. Not good men, but those who don’t see me as their equals but as some object. I hate them. I want to ask them how many times a day they screw their own mother too because their mother is a woman too. I want to ask them how they’d feel if I screwed their mother. Ha, I am bi. But whatever, I don’t do bi sh*t but whatever, just to see their reaction. “I looked at your Mom the same way you looked at me” They’d be mad, they’d hide their anger and give a fake laugh, but they’d be mad. They’d want to beat me up if I did an inch of the things they did to their female family members.

Hijab means “Shield” not “Feminism” D:

I wear the hijab. No one has to tell me to. No man told me to (I will beat the men up who thinks I will cover up for him). But God told me to and I like to be devout.

I don’t believe in forcing women to wear the hijab because I find that offensive to not to respect different choices.

I don’t think Hijab has anything to do with Feminism, as a lot of Hijabi-feminists say. They say it makes them not be seen as property. But why should we see any women, dressed however they want, as property? I WANT a world where women are seen as equals no matter what they wear. Isn’t this contradictory to feminism? But the only reason why I sometimes don’t approve of certain women (Miley Cyrus and Kim K, yes I am looking your ways) is because I think it poses a threat to other women because of all the horny nuts out there, but not because I don’t believe in freedom of expression.

The word hijab means “shield”. And that is EXACTLY what it is to me. To shield myself from bad men and thank goodness nothing serious has happened to me so far and I thank the hijab for that. Hijab is carefulness to me.

If a woman says it is her choice, that’s different from what other women deal with where they aren’t given any choices in countries. Why is that mentioned? That is a whole other political topic. And not all hijabi-feminists think alike.I don’t agree with women who says Hijab is feminist. I think hijab is a NEUTRAL, INNOCENT entity for protection, I don’t understand why people feel the need to attach extra things to it like it makes you less of a property.

I am hijabi and I am a feminist. If you don’t think that’s possible..well….YOU don’t think that’s possible, nothing more.

Inspired by the Freshly Pressed article: Is the hijab a feminist statement?

Rant: 28/6/15 (I felt like a person today)

WARNING: Negative (depends on how you see it, though) things ahead.


Or trying to breathe, I got out of the schooling center and was greeted by the kind, fresh air. Fresh air is the best friend of asthmatics like myself. But I was angry at myself for not being able to get much done in class, even though I was sick.

I walked on…..

And then a miracle happened: Continue reading

Rant: 25/6/15


A guy laboring and a women walking with a toddler (I edited the hijab in for the women because… know me :I) I took this pic, yeayawwaalal I also edited out a group of men on the right 😀 Yeaya. Why am I yeaya-ing?

I think I will write whatever I like, because that’s what I mostly do.

I suck,

I am supposed to attach a meaningful message/poem to this photo, but like I said,….

I suck.

Oh, I had to take this picture carefully. In a way others couldn’t understand I was taking photos. I don’t know, it’s just that the local men will think I am a crazy simpleton if I take pictures of a sight like this so quite discreetly took this photo.


Notice how the toddler is walking? I don’t think the woman is walking at his “slow-speed”.

What the hell am I doing?

OK….ummm….oh! Continue reading

Rant: 23/6/15 (Gone Bonkers)

Today is my sad birthday. I woke up with OCD tendencies of this thing I did. It’s horrible. I keep trying to relax myself, do compulsions, it doesn’t go away. I am trying exposure therapy with my thoughts, that doesn’t work either. Works a little, but little isn’t going to cure me. I had my depression pill along with  painkillers for my wisdom-teeth problem.

You know it’s the most horrible thing- trying to stay “perfect” for your parents. I will say one thing- I used to act sane just for Mom. Just so she wouldn’t go mental. I would act like I wasn’t depressed, that all was well with me, just like I did this morning. I joke around with her, but sharing my problems is NEVER a good idea when you have a neurotic perfectionist mother. Continue reading

Fasting. Day 1 (A little background, please)


This year, Ramadan…….followers could be in for 15 hours or more of fasting…….

But remember: Followers of Islam don’t fast the entire month. They eat a pre-dawn meal called a “suhoor” and break the fast after sunset each day with a meal known as “iftar,” shared with family and friends.-MPRnews

I used to see my parents having the Suhoor when I was a kid. They’d set the alarm in their own ingenious ways so I didn’t wake up (How did they do it?). But I always wanted to take the Suhoor with them! But their plan didn’t work as well sometimes. Sometimes I would awake anyway (my subconscious was already prepared to, anyway: D) and I had the foodstuff with them. It was amazing to have food at such an odd time, late after midnight, but it wasn’t as awkward as I thought. Soon. As I’d look out the window and notice so many other houses with their lights on….they were having their Suhoor! 😮 It was a glorious time of the year. My childlike self would see it as a “food party” and being a romantic since I was a child, I enjoyed the cooling, quiet calmness of the night as I’d gobbled food with my parents, back then. Continue reading

Rant: 16/6/15


How I feel when I am writing 😀 Image by- Aleksey Gnilenkov

The last problem is….I guess..resolved? I wept to my Mom some more about why she beat me. (I’ll be honest, she lightly beats me from time to time just out of silliness; but that’s not important right now), but she said that this time it really was an accident. I didn’t believe it and I still don’t because I know the magnitude of her anger. Some of her anger was converted to the forcefulness in her “accident” is what I believe. Although she did make some good points like, “Do you think I am just here to beat you? If I beat you every time I was angry with you, you wouldn’t even be alive right now!” Ah…that actually makes sense, really!. And she also mentioned that she got rid of her beloved job (where she worked to help eliminate poverty <3) just because I’ve gone literally bonkers (back when my OCD was serious). That, too, is true. Continue reading

Loads of coverin’ yo

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From left to right: Image Credits: Six intheworld, 景摄 and Clark & Kim Kays

Before you read this, I will say that these are MY OPINIONS. I am not forcing anyone to accept my opinions. You may be a Muslim like me too and still disagree with me for your own reasons, and that’s OK with me. If you think I am wrong anywhere, you can share your thoughts with me, but I do not accept flaming against other religions and whatnot. But in NO way am I saying people should agree with me. This is me simply stating my personal opinions. Thank you.

I am glad the Daily Prompts at WordPress posted a prompt about this: Clothes. This is a topic close to my heart. A sensitive matter to me. I wear a head-cover/urna (See the girl in the middle, like her). Now, it’s not like I was forced to do this. I wear this because of safety and protection reasons (which is the main reason in my religion to wear this, I believe). I don’t see it as an oppression, even though at times it does feel like it, but I remember again that it is really for a shield from perverts. Continue reading