Muh big(ly boring) thoughts

I got exams. I do relaxation techniques everyday. I am holding up pretty well since I dropped one of my depressant without even telling doc. Yes, I had done it before. I know the effects of severe disturbances are unlikely for me but I’ll go back to the pills if I am getting too bugged by the insect in my mind.

I’ve dropped T.V altogether. I mean I have for a long time already. And I am NOT up for listening to bullshit cable-news. I’ve lost hope and only want news from people who first fack-checks news- like James Corbett who does rediculously intensive data analysis and gives proper sources (instead of going “Scientists agree” or “Experts say”, or simply “Sources say” trying to be indefinite). Only thing I disagree with on James Corbett, from as far as I’ve consumed his content, is on  the topic of global warming- he doesn’t believe in it. And I am not into Philip DeFranco because his type of news doesn’t go beyond  America (and how it willl affect other countries and vice versa)

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Oh, hey

Dear Blog-Post,

My anxiety was at an all time high. My insanity went on a little holiday but they visit often. Sometimes when Miss Insanity isn’t here, I study with a head full of shit but still ready to take in study-material-y stuff.

Mom is disappointed, I am disappointed, I am accepting I am disappointed, I am learning to accept that it really isn’t my fault I don’t want to study. Laziness doesn’t exist in my world, I think it’s just a lack of motivation. I wouldn’t be lazy from running away from a poisonous snake, nope. I would surely be motivated to run away from any snake. So I am accepting and I am alright now. I was crappy a while back but being online calmed me a bit. Ugh. Exams. Why you no over?

P.S. I am very late at replying to comments :p I reply to at leas five comments a day, which probably means I will get back to you 🙂 I am a little cool now, you can guess, ha

Studying

I never used to be this anxious about studying. Maybe I do need medicine. Maybe. Why am I so anxious? The thought of studying triggers a whole other dimension of worries,  My Mom just told me to organize my Maths book for tomorrow. That triggered me. And that’s why I am writing here now. I know, take it one at a time. But I don’t even want to touch my book. I was never like this, I mean I was, to some extent. But not to this extreme extent. Dust collects on my books and I don’t like my books. Continue reading