Share Your World

Week seventeen’s Share Your World prompt from Cee’s Photography is for the following questions:

When writing by hand, do you prefer to use a pencil or a pen?

Pen because it’s more environment friendly, even though I like pencil more because it makes my handwriting neater. But pencil makes my writing slower when I might be feeling particularly……creatively passionate. And that’s not fun when I need a release. The volcano don’t stop for no slow pencils….unless they’re more friendly, dormant kind of volcanoes, then they’ll be…..as futile as my attempt at humor.

I can write faster in English than in Bangla (even though Bangla is my native language) which is why I write in English more. I actually don’t remember tha last time I wrote Bangla 😮 It’s been so long.

Nevertheless I prefer typing the most because it’s the fastest and the most environment friendly of all three of the options, not wasting lead, wood or paper. I am such a fool for these things. I don’t use pencil unless it’s to underline favorite lines from the books I read.

Here’s a funny going-green joke- What did the ground say to the earthquake? — You crack me up!

Haha, earthquakes are scary.

Whats you your choice: jigsaw, word, maze, or numerical puzzles?

Jigsaw. If you saw my response above, you know I get distracted easily. And this is probably the least distracted I’ve been….or not. I was too distracted to remember. But maze is more of a pattern-recognition kind of game, which I LOVE! I am all about recognizing patterns between things instead of focusing on the specifics. One little thing can launch a whole lot of ideas that are connected to…whatever one little thing that….was. Erm. So jigsaw puzzles because I recognize patterns very quickly. And no to word and numerical puzzles, those that uses the logical side of my brain, which I detest so much.

Do you prefer long hair or short hair for yourself?

If I lived in a planet without any other person, I would prefer bald. It’s comfortable and no one has to see me. I don’t think there would be any definition of beauty if we didn’t have others to ‘have’ beauty for. I think ‘beauty’ wouldn’t even exist and we’d just go bald for comfort because hair ain’t fun to manage…….But because I live amongst the people, I prefer long hair. I am such a fake

List five of your favorite blogs.

Aww man! There are so many blogs that I literally have a bunch of lists (12 currently) to ‘rotate’ within every couple weeks so I can visit all of them. I can’t just choose five 😦 I’ll just choose from the last 5 blogs I liked posts from-

My Curious Monde

A Certain Point of View

They, You and Me

My Better Than Yesterday Project

What are you grateful for from the past week and what are you looking forward to in the coming week?

I think I am going to be grateful for today because one boy who kept criticizing and making fun of me made me realize how easily I get hurt. My petty mind got hurt by the words from another petty mind. I think I wouldn’t have gotten hurt if the others hadn’t laughed along. Although I did give some funny comebacks to the guy (and I knew I was funny because others laughed longer at sh*t I was sayi). But I didn’t want to reply unless it was funny because….I didn’t want to take this seriously. But I did. I was so hurt when I came home.

I should do what the other girls do to him, hit him with a book…..lightly, although he actually enjoys it when girls do that. Hit him with books that is. No I won’t do it. They actually give him smacks too but I can see it in his eyes that he likes the attention he gets. I strongly feel like he likes getting smacked (ew, just thinking of it) What is wrong

with the people around me? What can I do to combat this?

Image result

Should I imagine him in a Princess Tutu costume everytime he tries one on me? 0_0

I want to be grateful for this experience because it taught me I wasn’t as ‘all that’ as I thought I was, character-wise xD

Anyway! It’s been a while since I wrote something more personal. I haven’t been able to write much because my head would go blank when I sit here -_- I decided on using questions to prompt me.

I tried to work on the title so much. I started with “Share your world (and your nuts)”. I…I don’t know. I am craving some cashews. No, someone read this post while I had that title >_<

Dear future 20 year old

You’ll be 20 years old soon. And I have no idea how to not sound like a kid anymore. I guess I’ll still live with my kiddish ways, besides, adults need to work on lubing up their inner-child sh*t- they are way too serious.

smile smiling justin timberlake serious music video

But people think I am serious too when they look at me. Once you get to know me, you see the smily-er aspects of me. Like this dude ———->

I don’t know how to honestly talk to you. I am so weird around you. And you ain’t nice either, you judge me so much, but you’re being more chill nowadays.How much I lived in a hormonal illusion. Hormones make me think of pregnant ladies. Oh, we’re all pregnant with hormones in our teens, you weirdo.

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Diary of a Wimpy Vampire (Book Review)

 

Excerpt from the book. Click HERE to see it fulscreen

My ratings would be 4/10. (But would still read it again) The book had enough humor to keep me really hooked and finish it fast and furious. It’s like the diary format of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, except written from the point of a vampire. I just finished reading it and I was mad the book wasn’t bigger, I wanted it to last longer! Alright, onto the character….

Nigel Mullet is the fictional (must I say ‘fictional’?) protagonist 15-year-old who’s been stuck as your “average, everyday vampire” for nearly a century.

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Interviewing Mom

OK, before you read this, I warn you that my Mom is very…….brash. OK, you have been warned. I will call myself just ‘M’ and Mom with…”Mom” because “Mom” and “Mon” look very similar 😮 Anyhow, I recorded because that day I think I had a mental breakdown again and Mom didn’t have the courage to scold me for not recording 😮 Anyhow, you guys will understand how I became the ridiculous freak I am from hearing our conversations…

(Me giving her a face)

Mom: FIX YOUR FACE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR TEETH? You son of an idiot..

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Mon the Tom-boy

Thanks to Ayushi for tagging me for the This or That Challenge 😀

MAKE-UP

  • Lipgloss or Lipstick? I don’t like either. 😦 But since I have to choose, it would be lipgloss because it seems less make-up-ly
  • Eyeliner or Mascara? Eyeliner. But don’t wear it. It’s hard to get off too 😥
  • Foundation or Concealer? Never wore either xD
  • Eyeshadows: nude or bright colors? I feel sick to use the word “Nude” xD but that’s my choice for makeup xD
  • Compact or loose powder eyeshadows? Wot R Dose?
  • Brushes or sponges? Sponge because if the brushes aren’t soft enough, my sensitive skin gets marks.

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Sisterhood

of the Blogger Awards! 🙂

I love this design *_*

  • Thanks to my brother, dferkan, the beauty-hacker, for awarding me 🙂
  • And also thanks to Akiraa, motivational blogger, for this sisterly award :’)

His questions! 😀

1. Which cosmetics store is your favorite?

It’s actually the store I buy shampoos from xD It’s Almas 🙂

2. How often do you go shopping for cosmetics?

The last time I went was three years ago 😮 I need to get rid of my make-up now that I remember the date’s over 😮

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Male Beauty Standards!?

Although I did believe it wasn’t necessary to make all of them shirtless because…I don’t know. I find it a little disrespectfully immodest (maybe it’s my upbringing?), but whatever. The point being, at one point during this video, I just WANTED TO CRY.

Society is f*cked up. I just became hopeless seeing this video, I see women aren’t the only one being stressed about beauty standards 😥

Vulnerability #4

I changed my theme again 😮 Would you tell me how this one is?

I see food as a sign of love and victory. When having a savory meal, I feel “fulfilled”, “successful” and “loved”. Writing this makes me crave a burger right now.

I see people around me and see how normal they are. I’ve always felt this way. What kind of meditation do YOU  do to stay this normal? Do they know the hours and hours of meditation I went through to be this way today? And this way isn’t ideal but I wouldn’t do nothing to go back to the way I was before.

Sexual attraction. When I see attractive people, I feel something in my stomach going against each other and smashing and creating a mess. My head also gets a bit dizzy (No, I am not mental! No…I mean…uhh…*sticks tongue out and runs the other way while flapping arms like a f**king chicken trying to fly*) It’s like the insides of my stomach twist over (Ew) because…..I have no clue. I have no clue how others f-ing love watching attractive people and staring at them. I feel like I will burst up in flames. And They are nutty like, “Oowwhh…yeahh”. Really? Also, it gets in my pride because I hate being not under control of my feelings.

You: But Mon, how do you deal with OCD then?

Me: Just think, my little grasshopper

And…if you read all my previous posts, I mentioned that falling under the spell of other’s outer beauty is like a sign of surrender to me. I am like, “Nawt, dowing dyat sh*t!” Hence I learnt about a solution for this online and the advice came from guys who tried to hide their boners :I The solution is to imagine something utterly disgusting when you get such feelings and those guys gave some ridiculous examples and it just cracked me up. I wonder if it will help the next time something like this happens because the usual biting my teeth hard doesn’t actually help much.

In this series, I open my heart more; I will share some of my deepest thoughts. I will put these in the rants categories 😮 These will be a bit messy as I share my thoughts as they come. This will be my totally imperfect, vulnerable side other than the happy bubbly person you guys see, that’s also a part of me, but this is the secret (not so secret anymore) part of me. Please don’t judge, these are simply my thoughts expressed openly. If you don’t like them, what are you doing here?

(Reblog) WELL-MOISTURIZED EYES ANYONE?!

Cosmetic Review by a dude. Yes a dude 🙂 If you look too much into the “dude” part, then you seriously need to get a life 😛 I love this post, check it out! He is passionate beauty care and I love it! 🙂

Cosmetics HAUL Review

Waking up after a looong night’s sleep, while my coffee is getting ready in the kitchen, I go to bathroom to wash my face to freshen up and get ready for the day. I walk up to the mirror, and I see A ZOMBIE LOOKINGAT ME, in the mirror. I get FREAKED OUT! Then I realize, that zombie looking at me is actually me with the DARKEST CIRCLES under my eyes. I know that lots of people share the same problem with me, the DARK  under eye circles that make you look like a character from The WALKING DEAD. So today’s review will be the ULTIMATE ZOMBIE DESTROYER (that helps eliminate the dark circles under the eyes). So let’s KILL THE ZOMBIE!!! 

This is, ladies and gentlemen, TRIPLE ACTIVE EYES, by L’oréal Paris.

Triple Active

This little lady comes in a simply-designed box, and on the box it is…

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(Reblog) Nobody vs Somebody

Life Beyond Perception

The fear of being a Nobody in this society is more intensely lived out than the prospect of becoming Somebody. What needs to be realised is that both concepts are one and the same. In the fear of being a Nobody, the person is in a constant quest to become Somebody in order to escape the feeling of being a Nobody. Even when they reach some status quo be that fame, fortune, respect, it is usually not enough since that deep rooted feeling of being a nobody has followed them in that journey and still remains dormant within them. What is more apparent is that in both cases you are really not You or put alternatively you are not in “ Your Body”. The approach taken is to let go of thinking you are a Nobody, which propels you to become Somebody else, which again is not who You are…

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Feminist Guilt

Everyday I worry about my body “issues”; the media has made it so clear what’s beautiful and what’s not.

“Hey, I am a feminist, I shouldn’t be sexualizing myself”.

And then I look at the mirror:

“No, I need to look better. My boobs need to look bigger. My nose needs to be sharper. My skin needs to be brighter, flawless. My stomach needs to be flatter (it does, but I don’t think about the health-related motivations but rather to “look pretty”)”.

Inspired by the post: Feminist Guilt

Rant: 22/6/12 (I am a dork)

“Mon! You are so sweet! So adorable! So funny!”

To me  I am just Mon The Builder, I mean, dork. Mon the dork. (Can we fix it!? Mooooon the builder. Yes we can! Mon and her mind, have so much fun. Working together, they get thinking done!)

When it’s other people to judge, I am not so negative. I tell myself, “OK, why? Why am I so negative to myself but not that same extent to other people?” I base my self-worth on how I do things (which is nothing), how well I do things (how well does one do “Nothing”? I can’t measure it!) and how much I do things for myself (Hey ma, nothin’ little nothing!). Continue reading

Rants: 9/6/15

OCD- how I try to organize my thoughts. Image Credit:  Stephen Topp

OCD: How I try to organize my thoughts.
Image Credit: Stephen Topp

A few days left till I turn 19.

I have to make a habit. More like quit it. It is, “I don’t know what to write”.

Right now, I just read this quote- ““To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard.”—Allen Ginsberg. Yeah. Easy for you to say, Allen. I have OCD and if I happen to write anything I am afraid of others reading, I won’t be able to sleep for days; it might be about something simple, but I am always afraid of writing an opinion that may be religiously wrong. When you are religious and at the same time have OCD- you might get….you know. That’s why Continue reading