I wrote a poem about how it’s hard to love someone (who loves you back) when you can’t love yourself; the feeling that something has to be wrong with the other person if they see something in you that’s beautiful.
Love Me to Love U
The enigma of you seemingly independent of love.
I am curious to study.
you don’t need a girl like me to be so happy.
But still, what if
[Rain starts to drizzle]
Drip. Drip. Drop.
Waiting for my bus
you’re sitting in my spot as you
caught me stealing another
hopeless glance at you.
I shiver into my mufflers looking away, again.
And then you straightened your legs, muddy leaves crackled under you
Rising with your fiery presence
overwhelming the wet ambiance
as you take two long, easy strides..towards me.
Unsure what your eyes are telling. Now I can’t look away.
Now I can’t look away.
Are you about to say something?
Oh no, you’re talking. To me
Wait. What did you just say?
You want to take me out?
You always wanted to?
Why!? I have to say something.
And I said something, but I didn’t hear myself saying it.
Okay. I..it’s just …it’s been so hard and difficult for me.
You’re listening. You’re nodding.
Your mysterious look turned soft, now sad.
You sure about this?
You don’t have a sense
of what “special” is
if you’re into someone like me.
[Back at home, trying to sleep]
Why would you
hold up a mirror
my reflection looking back,
MY reflection staring back.
As you confessed your affection for this.
You think it can get a chance at love.
This looking back with terror at me
in the mirror.
That this me…
No, just, this.
is okay to love?
I don’t want you anymore, there must be something
pathetic about you too.