Obviously I took my anger out on Mom when talking about the shooting and lied in bed because my body felt too heavy to move after arguing with her. Right now I am reading a more in-depth article about the shooter: Gunman in worst US massacre described as “quiet” but grew hateful. He’d just beat up his ex for the world being not the way he wanted it to be. I don’t know what it would be like being there. The shots fired, people falling to the ground. Blood.
I talked to Mom and she tells me she believes these attacks are “revenge” for what’s currently happening in Syria (but she doesn’t believe in revenge in killing innocent people for other innocent people killed), people dying and going hungry for air-strikes, and what’s always been happening in Phillistin. Not to do with gays, her thought is the man got really angry late night and started shooting outside, given the history. I don’t know much yet.
She tells me only developed-countries makes the big highlight. I am trying to find more non-biased new sources now, so far I read news about a country not FROM that country but from other news sources (the news source I showed above is an English, Bangladeshi site).
It’s surprising how much I know more about developed countries than poor ones. Media essentially belongs to the West. You have to try to get a more detailed news from the West. Really learning from the internet isn’t as easy as I thought now. I should compare not only multiple sites, but sites from multiple countries.Everyone should.
And I read Trump’s recent tweets. How much he goes back and worth with his claims. I will ban all Muslims. No I mean temporarily ban them. Now look what happened, see I asked for the ban. Go Trump, ban me.
I asked Mom why she doesn’t talk to me about Syria or all the other things happening. She said Dad told her to keep her mouth shut because I get sad. Did you read that right? I am still young and learning. And I get affected easily. They probably thought I might slip into my issues more and more. That’s how it happens, quietly and slowly, even I don’t know when it gets me. Now I am talking about me, but I thought people should know why my parents do what they do. But I still shouldn’t have read these things in the morning, reading news like this first thing in the morning isn’t good for me. But people getting shot can’t be compared to me having a mood and blowing up on mom. The world is too much.
What do I even have left to think? I am sorry. For Syrians. For Philistine. And recently, Orlando. I don’t know what I would do if I went through what you did. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what can be done