This is very dark

I want to first say that, in my opinion, intelligence depends on timing. If you are logical/mathematically-intelligent person who specializes in a particular set of information to get into a job , then you’re intelligent for that. If you are kinesthically-intelligent, you’re most likely someone who is good at sports, etc anything that involves the use of your senses and your body. And people apparently make money by being seen playing (Yeah, I am not really a sports fanatic *big smiles*).

It seems like I am talking about whatever gets you  a job or makes money is what;s smart but that’s not what I am saying. Money is an abstract concept to me, it is a “medium” to allow you into more experiences. I don’t really see money as something concrete (even though it is). And money is so important for our survival. Maybe oneday we might get a better way for capitalism than money, maybe something that’s more inclusive to people (Hey, it starts with a dream, RIGHT?). But….

Oh man that’s so typical of me. Getting lost in thoughts. What I meant was, intelligence is helpful if you can put it to use to have a living and experience life to the fullest using it.

My intelligence is intra-personal intelligence. Which if you asked me, is the most dumbest form of intelligence. But I say dumbest because I haven’t found the proper medium to use this intelligence yet. intrapersonal intelligence is the intelligence of the self and being aware of your subjective reality and how things can make you feel. It’s the kind of intelligence that can flourish in art, writing, fiction, poetry, etc. Writers and artists who combines this intelligence with linguistic intelligence,, in my opinion, are the ones succeed in the art area. (Linguistic intelligence is the ability to think in words. And how you use your words to influence other people, etc)

Ha! I twist things around in every stupid direction before my main point (laughs). What I mean is, I just know myself a lot of the times. And I am critical about myself. We are very complicated creatures and we need to be able to pull out the ball of strings in ourselves and then put them in their places. Change starts with yourself. It’s one thing to think you know yourself. It’s another things to ask yourself what you aren’t aware of about yourself.  And then be brutally honest about it, going against your pride. And then know when you are being egoistical about being okay when you’re really hiding.

And this can be a good skill because it can go the other way around. You can try to understand why or how other people do what they do by being honest with yourself and saying, “What would I do if I were in such a position?” I can find ways to convince people and predict how others act using this intelligence. I am automatically always going, “How does THIS feel? What does it have to do with me? What would it have to do with them? Can I recall any past experience which is close to their experience to get why they are the way they are?” etc etc

And it can be a scary thing to see yourself doing terrible things in your own mind, but I just have myself mapped out to  a degree that I just avoid the side of myself that literally goes into that dark side. It freaks me out to even say this, being all “want to do the right thing”-kind of person and all, but I can easily see my heart going to very dark places given the situation a lot of people get into. Oh man, I sound like such a dark smarty-pants, but what I am saying is, I don’t see people relating to that grey part of themselves very much. People don’t often think much in terms of motives and emotions. People tend to see things as black and white. If anyone asks me what I might do if anyone tried to murder my Mother (and someone did ask me this, just out of curiosity), I honestly answer that I’d avenge that person.

Oh man, okay, no more of this. I mean, everyone knows themselves. But really, how honest are people about how much they know? Even though it hurts my pride, I can tell that I need a lot of work. But really words do know justice. I honestly sounded extremely silly to myself because I couldn’t properly express these things how I wanted to.

What I wanted to say is, if you honestly think you are aware of yourself, you should feel scared about the extent your heart can go to, in love, hate, betrayal, etc. Because if you aren’t the kind of person who sees though life in ideals and romanticism, you may not get the extent of this darkness either. They seem like two sides of the same coin.

Oh man, this ALL still sounds so stupid to me. >_< Does anyone get it?Or did I freak you out? Oh I am scared. I am hitting publish. Here goes nothing.

Another edit: Not saying I am this kind of person, but I can map it out inside myself if I have enough information to understand someone else. And honestly, if none of you say something like, “Okay I see, you can map out emotions, motives, etc” or something like that, I will be genuinely scared and think I drove my readers away by being scary!

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46 thoughts on “This is very dark

  1. afternoonofsundries says:

    It’s very hard to know yourself nowadays. Children are seldom left alone or allowed to get bored. If you are locked into something, being media, books, electronics- whatever- if you don’t sit and learn to live in your own silence you don’t know who you are. Being forced to discover yourself all throughout your adulthood because you didn’t as a youth- the world isn’t set up that way. We expect kids and teens to fail. Adults? No. You should know yourself by that point. Except, do you?

    It’s a complex issue Mon. As always, continue to think! I think it’s a fantastic superpower you have!

    • Mon ☠ says:

      That’s true. There’s so much to talk about, but so little depth in content of what a lot talk about. I feel like self-discovery is being more and more rare. But then with the rise of mindfulness, maybe it can be “saved”. That’s a great point you raised, “You should know yourself by that point. Except, do you?” Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Love you Mama 😀 🙂 *hugs*

  2. melpenguin says:

    If you’re good at knowing yourself, you can figure out what you like doing, how to motivate yourself, and then become super great at *any*thing. What a superpower 😛

    • Mon ☠ says:

      Yeah, it’s one thing knowing myself. It’s a different thing to make myself work with the world too! I am still pretty young and I need to get many experiences to grow 😮 . But yeah it is still a kind of superpower, with it’s faults and all 🙂

  3. frcasper says:

    This is a great article Mon and so are all the responses, my brain doesn’t work well enough these days to articulate as I would like, I have been ill for so long with a mind destroying disease. it is so good to have it here to read right in front of me.

  4. willytyme says:

    Well, first off…salutations Mon. I consider myself one of those intrapersonally intelligent people and that is not stupid at all. Knowing yourself is a way to help others and just basically means, in my opinion, is that you would make a great therapist and there’s nothing wrong with that. Psychologist Howard Gardner believes people like that are considered to have multiple intelligence because they are grounded….secure, but then again…are we ever really secure?
    For some of those who are being cared for at the moment, money isn’t so concrete, but it is always thought and sought after but it’s used in such malicious ways that it is deemed the root of all evil. It is used to one up people, to become better than someone else, considered a curse too sum. Capitalism is considered a way to make a profit, everyone is after that, even if the state isn’t involved, people or countries aleways wants more than the other, money is just a way of living, some comfortable and others luxurious. I too am getting lost. I have that “Allovertheplace intelligence”
    Intelligence isn’t that much of a requirement for those who are kinesthically intelligent….I know alot of dumb(forgive me for using such a trite remark) sports players. Knowing ones self starts with an introspection of ourselves. No one really wants to know the truth about themselves, even if it is deemed a hypothesis by others. If you can take someones opinion about you and run with it, you can start learning about yourself a little more, but only if that person can be totally honest, and if you can handle the truth. Someone told me that “It’s hard to walk a mile in someone elses shoes when you’re not willing to walk a foot in theirs”. It’s so easy for me to say what I would do if this or that happened, but if it actually happens then I am stuck with choices of what to do, that’s when a person can really learn who they are. But, in a dark world, there are dark thoughts, but that’s all they are until your actions prove otherwise. One thing people don’t know is Confessions and Lies are the same thing. One must lie in order to confess to something. We all need work, help and intervention at times. I know I need work, we are all mentally broken. You probably know more about me than I do because humanity is never will to step out of the box and look at themselves from the outside so we’ll never know what we truly have inside.
    Everything goes hand and hand, can’t get love unless there was hate in you, one needs a heart before it can be ripped out….que sera sera.
    By publshing this means that you are willing to come to terms with who you are but yet, you’re still trying to figure yourself out…..it appears you have desribed half of our society, and the other half that says they are not like this and fully knows themselves don’t know they are lying to themselves which means they really don’t know themselves at all. I don’t know myself and neither does anyone else, we all need someone to help us locate us.
    This was all over the place, sorta like my intelligence if you caught that and this may be to much to read, but I know myself enough to respond to a flower such as yourself.

    • Mon ☠ says:

      Yes, we intrapersonally intelligent people 😀 Exactly my point, if you can’t know how you go though life, you can’t understand how others go through it as well. Ijust remembered that the man who discovered this is Howard gardner, thanks for reminding me. But true, like there’s so many knots to pull through inside ourselves that it’s rarely makes us secured and grounded. All those internal hyperfocus, but because we are focused so internally, we give out a cool and collected vibe outside.

      I have All-Over-The-Place-Intelligence as well! Yes, agreed with all the points on money and capitalism! Everyone wants it and while it is a good medium to get more resources and opportunities, us people go stupidly overboard.

      I don’t know much about kinesthetic intelligence, but I do know that there’s som correlation between it and will-power. It’s kind of a “macho” style of intelligence and men and women who have can absorb rediculous amounts of information. There;s this interview of a women who went partially blind in a world tournament, and she said she imagined how the racket will be placed, she could hear the sound of the ball coming towards her, etc and using her coordination and senses, she won the match. This sounds ludicrously wonderful to me, being someone who just gets overwhelmed so easily and wants to stay home and watch Piewdiepie. So I am keeping my narratives open for this kind of intelligence, but yes, if you only can handle the external world (like with the tennis thing) to match the internal world (knowing your values, yourself, etc) then there’s just…..an imbalance xD This is why I mention the balance of the internal-world and the external world. Now my job is to be better with adapting with the environment 😀 xD

      Thank you so much for the support, Willy. That is true, no good without the bad. No innies without the outies (lol).

  5. yanaakm says:

    We were born in the wrong time period. People used to pay greatly for philosophy, writers and theorists. Unless you maybe go into theoretical physics. I guess my point is don’t nack your gifts.

    Also I hope one day to have a society more like Star Trek and not money. We can dream together!

    • Mon ☠ says:

      Exactly! That was really one of the point of the post. Society often appreciates the logical/mathetical form of intelligence that it forgets there are many other kinds of intelligence. I just explained one different form of intelligence, which is intrapersonal intelligence. But there are eight other forms of intelligence which I hadn’t talked about here 😮 🙂 Thank you for reading 🙂

  6. Advanced Research Technology says:

    First of all I think it is ridiculous to measure intelligence by the money we can make. Secondly, I think money is a very poor system to begin with, as it inhibits more intelligent people than it actually helps. The more one is concerned about money, the more one is apt to end up on the dark side.
    We can go anywhere in our mind. It is actually good if one can go into an observer state and see what we’re thinking and how we are relating to life from an observer state. We can go to the light or the dark or somewhere in-between. The fact that we go there doesn’t change our self worth or make us creepy. It is when we go to the dark-side and dwell there, and act on it that makes us creepy. It is only there to help us to acknowledge right and wrong and make intelligent decisions toward right. People that can sort this out are actually quite intelligent and very cool.

    • Mon ☠ says:

      I didn’t mean to say money measures intelligence. I meant that money is a medium to more experiences and more opportunities. And since you intelligence, whether is is valued or not, gets you into your profession, career, etc. And writers, even though great, often don’t get paid as much as they should from using their linguistic intelligence. This is what I meant here. I want there to be a way everyone can use their skills to help themselves to grow and achieve more. That is why I mentioned that I hope there comes a day when a more inclusive means is thought of so that people don’t have to suffer from capitalism.

      Thanks, Art! I am glad many of you are so supportive of that. Truly, if we act from a dark place, that’s when the problem occurs. Thank you so much for the compliment! 🙂

  7. SunkenThought says:

    Dear Mon –

    You’re right, there are different and altering forms of intelligence, but intra-personal intellectualism (the ability to search deep within ones self) is actually more of a well honed skill, one most don’t dare to work on. One of the parts about intrapersonal interactions, especially those used as described, is that we often don’t see how the actions affect others involved in the situation, simply the persons perspective of the problem or idealized concept.

    You’re right about having a balance between the light and dark within ones self though, one needs yin in order to have yang, which is why religious people have a sense of Heaven and Hell. With each good action comes another reaction, and with every bad action comes an opposite reaction. Often enough when people are rude or speak ill towards me, I find myself smiling because I don’t know what their background is or what made them be that way. All I can hope for is that my smile will do something to make their day just a tiny pinch less crappy.

    Hope you have a lovely day, Mon!

    Sincerely
    Shay @SunkenThought

    • Mon ☠ says:

      I know right? I hope more and more people accept the different forms of intelligence. I am an MBTI-nerd which leads me to more abstract concepts like this. Which is why I often feel isolated. I am more interested in figuring people out more than figuring out their life. And not everyone is comfortable sharing themselves, their goals, their interests, etc They hardly know them.

      Yes, exactly, the examples you used. And that’s a strong character you have, right now I only have the awareness, I don’t have the maturity yet to find myself smiling at people who make fun of me because I am still not very sure and confident with myself. Hopefully, I can be like you one day 😉 Thank you, Shay!

  8. Tony Burgess says:

    Intelligence is underrated it seems. Then there is being smart and of course clever. Those three things interact with one another depending on the situation. It’s rare to be all three.

    • Mon ☠ says:

      Yes, a lot of things comes into play. But people often focus more on science-ish, mathematical/logical intelligence. And so those who have other kinds of intelligence are kind of left wondering, “Hey what about me?” Haha

  9. miusho says:

    To be honest.. Each person has the ability to go into the “dark part” of their heart/mind.. We all start off neutral at birth and how we are raised and / or treated by others influences how we will grow up and act in the future..
    It always reminds me of Dungeons & Dragons.. Which direction you take or what choices you make will influence your alignment.

    I sometimes go into that part of my mind too and end up feeling horrified realising that, while I’m just imagining it.. for others it’s a reality. EVERY single day.. I think that, being able to place yourself emotionally in someone else’s reality makes you more able to understand why some people do what they do. Because of past trauma’s one can go off in a very screwed up direction.. And keep on spinning around if there’s no one to put a stop to it.

    But, a lot people cannot place themselves in the situations of others, maybe they have a latent talent for it but somehow, due to how they were raised, they never developed it? Or they just can’t because they work in a more logical fashion. If it’s not logical, it doesn’t make sense.

    If someone murdered my mother.. I’d probably be upset and want justice to happen but, what if that person was mentally unstable? What if that person, at that moment, was incapable of stopping themselves from doing what they did due to desperation or whatever it might be.. What if it really was an accident? I’d like to know because just “locking them up” wouldn’t be able to help me give closure. I’d need to know why and how because that’s just who I am. :/

    Also. Money is just a means to an end but, does it really make you happy to have a lot of it? Sure, you can buy anything you want.. But what’s the use if there’s no one to share it with?

    • Mon ☠ says:

      This is why I love you! You wrote all the things I didn’t have the words for. I can see myself going into extremes, but I also see whole other sides too. Like I would want justice for my mothers, but I go a lot of other directions, just like you said. I would want justice, I would also want to know what led them there in the first place. We always taught to see things in such black and white kinds of ways that we don’t always want to understand the reason behind it. I can’t agree with prison-ing people, but at the same time, how are we to influence people to not do such crimes? And then if the person is mentally unstable, I would want that person to receive help too. There’s always just so much more to add and so many feelings yet to discover that it can lead you into the dark. And then imagining it for yourself makes it even scarier and more real-er.

      And as for the money bit, I don’t mean that we just keep collecting money, but it is currently the medium that allows people to get and give things. Like food, luxury, etc and that depends on how you use, but money itself isn’t the “evil”, it’s what people get into it with that decides, that’s what I meant 😮 🙂 Thank you so much for the response!

  10. Chained King says:

    the process of thinking about the way one tends to think… I believe that is called metacognition. To a certain extent mindfulness meditation is about about letting go of prohibitive emotions that stop us from being in the present because we are rooted in the past.

  11. Chained King says:

    intelligence is overrated. I’d rather be happy than smart enough to realize just how many people in my life only cause me misfortune :p Cogito ergo doleo… I think therefore I suffer…

  12. The V Pub says:

    “…..if you aren’t the kind of person who sees though life in ideals and romanticism, you may not get the extent of this darkness either. They seem like two sides of the same coin.” You ARE a dark smarty pants! lol Just kidding! I think that you’re right – these feelings, as opposite as they may seem, do exist with each other.

Please write! :'(

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