I’ve been seeing more White men in my dream of late. I don’t know what that’s supposed to symbolize, is it my mind telling me something about the fair-skin-idolization in my country? My “getting-intimate” dreams get so weird. You’ll know once you get to the end. I don’t feel comfortable even sharing this. But it got me wondering too.Alright, I will go on….
I had a blonde guy for a lover…..and he was shorter than me (Whoohooo) This time was a man waabout my own age. Anyway while me and Short-man was in some place, his employer said that Short-man (lover) wasn’t eligible for modelling…because he was short. I got super mad at the employer and got all, “How could you say that to ma’ man, blah blah blah!”
and got a hold of Short-man’s hand and stormed out of there. Short-man was all, “Hey, it’s okay. I will find a way to get them to work with me.” But I wasn’t listening to him, I just walked on. Then the man who dissed Shortman asked for him back. That doesn’t make any sense. Or my storming off was powerful enough to get Shortsy a job. Anywho…..
Later in my dream, I was doing “stuffs” to blonde-short-bloke, and he was just sitting there enjoying himself (lazy much, bloke?) and all of a sudden I think, “Hey, wait. I know this *thing* I want him to do to me……will he do it?” (self-conscious much, Mon?) I look over to him, then I look at the ground anxiously, then I look back at him (he just layed back with his eyes closed …..and with a goofy smile, I think). Then I started to wonder, “Wait….does this guy even care about me? Is he even interested to make this experience enjoyable for me?” I start to get serious. (In real life, I would’ve been ten times serious, being the whole virgin-before-marriage kind.*I won’t mention what “stuffs” or “thing” I meant here. I wasn’t even comfortable sharing this, so explaining those things are way out of the window). Anyhow just when I was introspecting with what I even meant to this dude…..
A dog comes and I get that the dog wants to join us…..just without the blonde bloke. A dog that just wanted to do me. Wow Wow. And I tried to shoo it away and told it, “Look there are some other human girls there (for you to f*ck?), go over there!” I soon got rid of the dog and I forgot what happened later.This is even more uncomfortable to share.
I told a dog there where other girls to do “whatever” with? What does THAT mean? What (didn’t think I’d ask that). I mean, shit keeps happening in my mind all the time, I bet, but I need more than “shit keeps happening”. Maybe the whole me working at it and the dude just laying there being lazy was a reflection of my friendships……..metaphorically (haa…okay). I did mention about Tania, Torsa and Cammie (Cammie is double-trouble, I may write a post about this later. She is even more emotionally manipulative than before now. I don’t call her anymore, I can sense she wants to use me to buy her drugs).