I’ll try to remember as much as therapist said. I should’ve probably kept a recorder but I can’t. My batteries are not good, so not good. But anyway a bunch of things said, some tears shed. It’s weird when someone’s understanding you; You expect people to think you’re being overdramatic. And did I keep trying to justify the “absurd” things I was saying by starting with, “Okay, so this will sound overly-dramatic but I…” and continued.
I am not sure if I can share some of the things here that I shared with therapist. I did mention about the whole “short hubby” thing and I started bawling like a baby, I sometimes wonder why I even have so many useless feelings. I was all, “Nawwwww I don’ thinks I gets hubs ‘less I super-woman and can offer stuff” and sh*t.
I told her I hated mom’s constant criticism. And Therapist told me of this incident of this little girl who survived in a jungle after a plane-crash and was cared for by …some four-legged creatures I forgot the name of. And she’d walk on all fours and eat without the aid of her hands. Therapist said that if she had her human parents raising her, she’d be walking on two legs just like all the others. She’d learn to speak the language of her parents. But the jungle was all that her life-view was limited to. And that’s why she’d make loud animalistic noises and…do those other animal-things. Similarly, without having many positive influences in my life, I think that all I am is the criticism I hear. And that’s been in my subconscious for so long. Therapist said if anyone else were in my position, they’d be the same way.
Therapist also told me to check out articles on the affect of borderline people on their family.