I call Cammie regularly now.
I had Mom talk to her too. (I will start a little rant on Mom here) Mom knows people and can catch their emotions and stuff. So she is really smart about how to get people to feel good, side with her and things like that..My “friend” Torsa (Long-time readers know who) once said that when I stood by Mom, I looked like this quiet, calculating criminal compared to the sweet, smiling old woman. I laughed so hard when I came back home after hearing that. It’s no surprise; no matter how many schools I switched to, Mom gave off this “Sweet Aunty” vibe to the classmates. Many times they’d would run to meet Mom after school.
You know what I think? Those naïve kids needed a good-old, easily-tempered Aunty-slap of reality from Mom that I got much of, and still haven’t gotten over, especially since she recently physically abused me. As I mentioned here.
Most people, including Mom, always seem to do a better parenting-job of other people’s children. Because they aren’t very responsible for those kids! And Mom had a ten minute talk with her. I heard loads of laughter from Mom as she talked some good motherly advice. Etc. Etc
I am talking about my own issues again.
So Cammie still cries to me about the boyfriend. I know she is hurting a lot. She has dumbed herself down pretty much to me to avoid revealing certain things. She joked about some stuff here and there. And then I caught her off-guard and told her, “You don’t have to act with me. You can open yourself up. If you want to say something, just say so,” And she asked why I was saying that. I told her, “You’re just dumbing yourself down. I can sense that,” And she just laughed. I laughed along. She then composed herself enough to not laugh at my (obviously correct) observation.
“Mon. You NEVER believed me when I said I WAS single,” She let out a giggle, “And now that I am sharing about my break-up, you don’t believe me!” Cammie was trying to change the subject obviously, but I let it go soon. “I don’t NOT believe you,” I said, “I just think you’re trying to hide more details from me. You’re joking around,” She tried to hold her laughter on the other end…..but then laughed. Yeah. But then I acted like I bought it, the (fake) happiness and silliness. Did she think I forgot about how much she cried just the other day?
I wish I was actually there with her instead of talking on the phone. I could give a lot better support that way. And while being on the phone, I can’t see how she is doing. How much thinner she is getting from the drugs she takes, etc etc
Later I gave her some light perspective on her situation. Told her that she should feel through all the emotions, not reject them. But at the same time, hold onto her self-respect. That a mature guy wouldn’t “confuse” (though the situation was clear enough, but love made it unclear for her) a girl with mixed signals and….of course……dating other girls. (Ugh. Obviously). Also That whenever that dude would walk around her house, she should return back home for her sanity. And also told her that “he who steals once shall steal twice”. She said I was right.She obviously knows more about crappy men than I do. I know she was just asking me for advice because she didn’t have anyone there who was going to be…receptive. Which is sad. Where are those many people you socialize with who can’t be there in times of trouble? She is a social-butterfly and now she talks to me for sharing stuff…and only me. I don’t get extreme-extroverts.
She wasn’t going to be super serious with me. So I thought I should end the conversation with something light. Hence I advised her to drink more water; I jumped out of the blue with my “health concern”. She laughed and said she would drink more water because I said so. I giggled. We said our good-bye’s and that was it.