I have been feeling like writing again 🙂 I should’ve taken the blog-break before. There’s a happiness in blogging whenever you feel like it versus treating it like an obligation.
I am feeling refreshed, We took a walk at night. It was wonderful, also all the decoration outside for the celebration 🙂 There are less people outside; most of the population went to the natural country sides to celebrate Eid.. Which means the streets are clearer and the traffic jam less.
If anyone loves me enough, they’d send me a care-package with:
- A check for half of the money of the world. This way I can put it to better use by making organizations to fend off poverty and help people get less-expensive access to education. Gosh, damn it. The world’s on fire right now.
- A good therapist. Yes, in a package. One who isn’t in it for the money or calls me crazy.
- A check for the other half of the money of the world.
- My dear-future husband. Yes, in the package too. Now that I think of it, the package needs to be poked a whole through for venting. Anyhow, the husband who is kind, believes in women’s rights (my way of saying “isn’t a misogynist like my father”) and a little cheeky with me ( 😛 )
- Someone who is sweet but at the same time is as cheeky as me. Cheeky so that I can be more open about myself, my desires, and stuff. Seriously, I am not as kitten-ish on the inside as I look with my cute little hijab on :I Anyhow, sweet so that they accept me for the mental I am (got OCD, yayayaa…) and I will return the favor to them.I want someone I can humor. I always like hearing people laugh for the silly things I say (in those events when I am not anti-social enough). But it’s too sad there are no clubs here or anything. You pretty much make all the friends from school. Easy for the extroverts.
All the school-friends….well….weren’t like me. They like bollywood, I liked feminism, they like make-up and I like being green for the planet. They like being mean while I am the one bullied, they like attracting loads of attention from boys and I want one good boyfriend who’ll love me. They like making snide comments and while I only do this with people I love ( but don’t buy into the “S/he’s only mean to me because he loves me” bullshit 😦 Seriously! There’s a line between being playful and being an emotional-terrorist), but I am not as mean as they are.
Wow, I basically ruled myself as the “more evolved” species xD I kind of do that a lot, I am a bit of a narcissist. Well, only to the point where I don’t hangout with people who don’t pay attention to me (I see it as a sign of abandonment, I fear these people. But I think no one hangouts with with people who aren’t interested in them. Unless they like hard-to-getters?).
But I never think I am better than anyone (anymore) because I always find faults in myself xD And it’s hard to “recover” from the stuff I tell myself. Hence I always try to stop myself from thinking I am better because (it won’t be long till) I prove otherwise to myself. Maybe I am not a narcissist but just put walls around myself. Eh, never mind. I daydream of being a celebrity. So yeah. I am a bit narc-y.
Image by Paul Militaru