I really wanted to write now. Today was Eid al-Adha. I come early to grandma’s this day. si I don’t have to see the the way we get meat (slaughtering). Basically, avoiding the reality of my love for beef.
My cousin (4 years younger than me) came early and I liked catching up with her and being silly (I’ve grown physically mostly). Everywhere was the smell of blood and cow-poop.
I also learnt that a rocking chair is good for regaining energy after masturbating. Do. Not. Ask. Me. Sweetpea.
I also learnt that I see much potential in everyone. I see the creative, thinking, intelligent sides of them that are different from mine. But I tend to overlook my own potential.
And I sound like I am this victim on the blog, but the reality is, I have plenty to be grateful for.
Tania was close to us. WAS. The last few Eids, she missed the celebration. I sort of like this and hate this simultaneously. I like this ’cause this way I would forget about her more. I hate this because I miss her bubbly character.
It’s hard to be anonymous and public online. I love having the benefits of both- one let’s me be myself, the other allows me to be physically “seen”, and there’s a comfort in having people know that side of me. But I won’t mention my public blog here. This blog is private.The private thoughts of mine are stored here.
The cousins, one 4 years younger and the other 6 years younger, are clever. Clever in the way I don’t like. I think we should learn things slowly. Physically and mentally grow the same way- little by little. But then again I couldn’t resist asking this question about penises. I asked the one who is six years younger about the fact that penises had this “thing” at the end. She was all, “Oh, yeah. That triangular-ish thing”. Damn, she knows. And she’s 12. “Do you watch porn?” I asked, sort of worriedly.
“Yeah. All you gotta do is search for ..”. Yep. Then I asked her if she felt any attraction towards the male genitals. She said she wants it whenever she is “hungry” or feeling “in the mood”.
That’s all for today.
Image by Paul Militaru