Life Update: Relaxed Improvement.

One thing I love about myself is how I try to be gentle with myself. My anxiety disorder gets in the way and I try so hard. I try to respect myself. I try to not go hard on myself. Whenever I am mentally capable of doing so. I don’t give myself enough credit for that. I am too bogged down by how fast the “results” are coming, how successful am I enough to credit my hardwork. I am not always gentle with myself, but every night when I go to bed, I try speaking gently, softly and nicely to myself. I do this as an exercise, y’all know I am married to myself now right ๐Ÿ˜‰ I try and try. I have been trying the last seven years and I am still not giving up. Now that I say it like that, it does seem like a big accomplishment ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Oh it is.

The night is drawing in. I am eating noodles, I love noodles. I like how think and long they are (Am I SOCIETY!!??) I studied for a longer time today ๐Ÿ™‚ The medicine is working. I don’t want to stab myself when trying to concentrate anymore. The first few days was plateauing with my mental-health progress.Now it’s gotten better ๐Ÿ˜€

Oftentimes my use of certain phrases obscures what I am really trying to say. I try to use these trendy words (and think I have become William Shakespeare) to better my writing.ย  My language eliminates the simplicity of the connotation in lieu of utilizing on the sophisticated syntax (Eh? Eh? OK, I need more work with that)

The narrative of the online world is getting worse as more people connect. Which means more assholes (among people) connect, while so few are good people ๐Ÿ˜ฎ (I am good, right? Rightey?) The comparison of internet-conversations today to that of the year 2000 is quite lofty; so many nicer people were online. So many were civilized. Debates were friendlier. And now it’s filled with the emotional-terrorists in various comment threads.

Today I ended up lying on the bathroom floor. I won’t tell about the awkward sequence of incidents that led to that. I thought i would just write about the “aftermath” since I will look back on it. No one will know what happened, except future-husband of course, whoever that guy is. For now my private emotions of vulnerability shall remain-eth private. Private. Super private and not lieutenanty military things.

I’ve gotten back a bit of my writing mojo, as you see ๐Ÿ™‚ Today my mood has been better (except when I was lying on the dirty bathroom floor, ew) and I am happy with how long I studied ๐Ÿ™‚ I think that’s what made my writing muscles flex. I’ve come back with with a renewed gusto! (Come back? You’re writing here every f*cking day!)

I am not sure what to write today. Yesterday wasn’t very good. In the morning my whole mood was heavy from watching pictures of the refugees. It feels awkward, like, why are we calling them “refugees”? It’s like they aren’t humans. It hurts me. People want to overlook the bad so they label. The pictures. So horrible. I wonder if there are still many “refugees” floating on the ocean at this moment. I can’t do anything.

Last night parents argued about my mental health. Some people don’t grow up. Seriously. My dad says crap and Mom reacts HEAVILY to that crap and I then get caught up in crap. Note to self: When I become a mother and have to argue, I should do it quietly. No need to dishonor the health of my kids by being….kids around them. Hurtful. I wished they didn’t use my mental-health as an excuse to express their hatred for each other. There are some deep-seated issued between them that no one will take responsibility for. I am not the only mental-freak here, there are bigger freaks here. Freaks who give threats to each other and throw things at each other around me :I F*ck this, no more on them.

I am starting to cleave myself to blogging โค It’s wonderful. At first, I admit, it was hell annoying when I didn’t get any likes xD I wouldn’t even blog if I thought no one would read ๐Ÿ˜ฎ So you guys are what’s keeping me goin’ ๐Ÿ˜€ โค As for the drawings, I am thinking of making a weekly feature for them. Something like Drawing Challenge Wednesday or something ๐Ÿ˜€

As for today’s blogging 201 task, I was supposed to audit my brand. I have no brand. I simply changed my blog name to the previous one and shortened the tag-line. I have been meaning to get that done but been lazy xDย  I think that’s all I have to do.

  1. Does my theme match my blogโ€™s intent?- Yes. I think.
  2. What are my title and tagline saying?- Just showing the tiny vulnerable side that wants unicornly things and love and unicornly things.
  3. What about my post titles?- I try to make them interesting ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
  4. My About page?-It’s sexy enough ๐Ÿ˜€
  5. My username and nickname?- I am not going to make my blog my user-name because that’s spammy. I like the name Mon, it’s my name, I will keep it here ๐Ÿ˜€
  6. Do the titles of my widgetsย contribute to my brand?- I think so. I always play around with the widgets to see how they look better.
  7. Do I have a consistent visual identity? Am I choosing images that support my brand, both in posts/pages and widgets?- Later, dude. Later :p
  8. Are there elements that are counter to my brand? Why have I included them? What role do they play?- What? I don;t….think soo….
  9. Does all this carry through in the other places my blog has a presence โ€” Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, or forums/sites where Iโ€™m active?- Oh I do have to be more active on facebook, I guess ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

Photo Credit: Glitchy Artist

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15 thoughts on “Life Update: Relaxed Improvement.

  1. miusho says:

    Ack, don’t take the Mon out of the blog! Ever! The Mon is what makes the blog! ๐Ÿ˜€
    Also. Good thing I’m smart enough to get the gist of all those big words you’ve been using or I’d need a dictionary. ๐Ÿ˜› โค

  2. willytyme says:

    The person we are hardest on is ourselves, it’s good you are identifying that problem because I too have that problem. I’d marry myself but we argue with each other to much. Parents will be parents while the kids have to be the adults, sucks but that’s how it is here too. Keep on writing lovely whether one person or one million read it, don’t let others dictate your love for something. I like you a lot Mon and I don’t even know you, your character is so captivating, and people said I have a magnetic personality. Never change unless it’s what you want to do but I prefer you just the way you are. I too use words bigger than I am, sometimes I don’t know what they mean but hell, they sound cool.;o) Never change, stay lovely petite’ cause you are beautiful they way you are. P.S If my parents don’t have anything positive to say to me, it goes in one ear and out the other.

    • Mon โ˜  says:

      Oh Willy. I have gotten over so many divorces with myself ๐Ÿ˜ฎ It’s hard but at the end of the night I try to be nice to myself again ๐Ÿ˜€ It’s so hard to love oneself, indeed it is!

      Willy the last paragraph you mentioned warmed my heart so much ๐Ÿ™‚ I will copy that somewhere and save it in a document. It’s so nice to have a nice person say such nice things about me! ๐Ÿ™‚ โค :'o)

Please write! :'(

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