F*ck

Oh my GOSH! Mom is annoying me. I am feeling depressed and I don’t feel like even talking. I keep telling her I don’t want to go anywhere, I don’t want to talk, I don’t feel like meditating and she’s all like, “WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?” OH MY GOSH. This is the 100th time I admitted depression to her and from each time I never learn my lesson. It’s a pain in the ass to talk when I am feeling down. OH!!!!!!!!

And now I am sitting here and she keeps hovering around. She is like, ‘You are on the internet BECAUSE you have no friends. You want connection with people,” If I did want that, I wouldn’t be so picky about my friends. I know some around whom I can pretend to be like to be friends with, but I am not that kind of person. I don’t hate solitude THAT much, unless there’s someone to relate to, in which case, there isn’t.

I NEED TO BE ALONE. F*CKING ALONE! ALONE! It hurts to talk. I keep telling her that, but of course, everything becomes about her. “YOU NEEEEEEEEEDDDDDD TO TALK!”

OH GOSH!

F*CK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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41 thoughts on “F*ck

  1. zulworks93 says:

    Hey, I don’t have depression but I got friends who do and they know how you feel. Some people just don’t get it but can be hard for them to. Just know that you can’t be alone no matter how much you want to be alone.

  2. yanaakm says:

    Hugs! I’m going through my own head problems myself this weekend. I can’t imagine anyone hovering over me. Hang in there! Keep Fighting! It will get better. I know it does with me.

    • Mon♥ (INFP. Anyone?) says:

      Yes, it’s terrifying. It feels like now I have double the mental troubles, at first I have to calm down from myself and then from her pressure of being mentally stable. GOSH! You know it :/

      Yeah it does, it does get better 🙂 Thank you ❤

  3. HotChocolate264 says:

    I know how complicated this kind of situations are, and I’m sorry if what I’m going to say sounds too simple, but maybe you only need to change contest, or beginning a new activity that takes all your energy, so you have no time to think about things that bring you down! I hope you get better soon!

  4. viladev says:

    Hi Mon, I hope now you feel better. I know how it felt, my mom sometimes does it too. I felt overwhelming, my energy was dry out. So I wanted to be alone, but my mom thought something was wrong with me and we got in some debate and gosh…it made me more tired. After that, I learn to just listen to her politely, not complaining, and she will stop by herself from annoying me. Maybe you should try it too! :B

  5. Darkwriter11 says:

    Gosh, so much chaos. You know, I understand that you want your mom to understand how you feel and to just support you without driving you mad. That’s a good want. Although, sometimes strangers can provide more solace. Life is weird like that.

  6. willytyme says:

    I’m sorry you feel this way lovely, but sometimes solitude is our best friend. What’s downing you so much is what you have to find out first and then either find a way to combat it or avoid it.

Please write! :'(

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