Camelia again

I talked to Camelia (Cammy) again and this time I did better. But I also can’t believe I was this dumb. Why would a girl who doesn’t care about what her mother says cry about her opinions suddenly? She doesn’t have financial crises, and her family is always, as usual. So what had caused the change?

My (100%, I am sure) theory: She got dumped. She will never tell me if she was seeing anyone, for whatever reason. She always says she doesn’t see anyone. But she isn’t the kind of girl who would sit around at home being afraid and innocent. She goes out in the mean streets and does what she has to do.

I always seem to vacillate from believing her to actually using my head.

Cammy also doesn’t “seem” like the kind of girl who would be single. She is my opposite- a badass (70%). And at first when she called me about her mother being annoying , which her mother is, it should’ve been clear to me that this wasn’t the whole story. I know her. I know she doesn’t give a damn about her mother. Why would studying be hard to concentrate on all of a sudden?

It was heartbreak. It HAS to be. Like, all of a sudden she tipped from, “My Mom is an idiot,” to “I care about not disappointing Mom,”? I know she loves her mother, I also know she loves freedom and getting things. But anyhow, I am here to support her, whether she tells me what her problem is or not.

Her transference of emotions to me on the phone was felt, very deeply nevertheless. She was never this emotional with me. Her sudden sharing of vulnerability fostered a little intimacy between us. I was listening the whole time. I listened so much; she had to call me out from time to time to “not get into her emotional vortex”.

From time to time, this fear was running in and out of my head. Fear of not being a good enough friend to her. I wanted to “salve” her pain a little.So I turned on my silly-mode after a whole lot of listening. I started making silly remarks and jokes again. I made funny voices again. I sang funny cartoon theme-songs and told her to repeat after me. The entire time she was laughing and had to take breaks to catch her breath xD

Before the end of our convo, she told me she could only turn to me for sharing her problems. Also, that I always found a way to make her laugh. It was truly heartfelt. I try to make her laugh in every encounter we had, before she revealed her grief to me. So it made me feel better too.

So anyhow, that’s all. And I have to study now. I hate studying, but…grrrr….Just thought I would update ya’ll on how she’s (and I am) going with this.

Image by Paul!

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One thought on “Camelia again

  1. aihia kashieka sabello says:

    I think you’re allowing your friend to rant her problems and boredom to you. I understand that your friend is probably going through a stressful period in her life, or if she’s just restless, aimless, and bored with her current situation in life. Being a clown over the phone doesn’t improve her situation. Your serving as her momentary distraction though you try to be a good friend by keeping in touch with her and closing the gap between the two of you. It doesn’t change the fact that your friend “Cammy” needs to deal with her issues instead of ignoring her problems. I also want to point out to you Mon that your simply assuming what she’s going through and what she feels, but your assumptions is not entirely a 100% true. Because if you were truly her friend you would know exactly what is bothering her, and not judge her life by way of her personality. I am not saying this to slight but I think you’re not seeing the big picture. You observe that she’s the assertive type who goes after what she wants, but at her age and her constant ranting about her mom. I am thinking that your friend “Cammy” needs a maternal figure who is wise and fair in her judgement. Someone who can either be young or old but has this air of maturity in them. And someone who has enough experiences of heartbreaks and sorrows in their life would be the best person for her to talk to.

    Because I feel that Cammy just needs to fit in because she’s slowly developing her real personality. And she’s not very strong enough to feel comfortable in her new skin. It takes guts to be assertive and to go after what one wants, but it can be a challenge often times very cruel and heart breaking however the lessons you learn either make you or break as a person. But then the whole point of going through that is learning to take responsibility for self and your decisions. I would simply tell Cammy that if I had a chance to talk to her. I’d be glad to help her sort her feelings out.

    Don’t mind if what I wrote was too long. But I always have the need to voice out my opinions and say things as it is. Though I don’t often mean to slight people or be rude to them. But someone has to keep everyone in check.

Please write! :'(

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