Feeling better

There’s something wrong with me. Kt’s good that once I feel emotions like I did a while ago, I feel them to their full extent. After thousands of drops of tears (I may be hyper=-something-izing here) I got better. At least, I think so. Or not.

There’s a part of me that wants to detach from reality and makes me “forget” things, IMO. It feels now like the thing with Mom didn’t even happen when a while ago it was eating me up. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism thing.

I am now kind of back to my silly being, a little. Or maybe I have Multiple Personality Disorder? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ I hope not, I don’t want any more problems. No, I probably don’t have that.

It’s been that way, it gets a little like, “Wow, I am still here like…breathing. Woooowwww Maaannn……”. OK, that wasn’t how I meant to say it, but….it gets forgotten is what I meant. I feel it but it gets blocked and the silly me is getting all around it :/

OK, sighing off. May the Mons be ever in your Mon-Favor (and anything else that sounds ….Mon)

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21 thoughts on “Feeling better

  1. spykeyone says:

    Sounds to me an awful lot like EUPD which is my diagnosis. Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (also called Borderline Personality Disorder) means that you feel emotions an awful lot more and can swing between them very quickly and not necessarily for any reason or trigger. I often cry for no reason whatsoever and I’m definitely not pregnant ;). EUPD/BPD is often misdiagnosed as Bipolar or depression because of the similarities. These symptoms though are part of the condition and not exclusive. You have to be able to tick 5 of the boxes that can be found here – http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/#.VcthJPNViko – to get a definite diagnosis from a health care professional

    May or may not be helpful? If not then please accept my apology. At the very least it may be interesting? ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Melanie (DoesItEvenMatterWhoIReallyAm?) says:

    Darling, you must get out of that house and find a place where you can spread your wings and fly! Never having the opportunity to truly discover *Mon* is going to forever leave you lost and fumbling around trying find her. You need to get out from your mother’s overbearing thumb and just breathe for once. Meditation is good… but even I know that it is difficult to engage in deep breathing when one is constantly suffocating. ๐Ÿ˜˜โค๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’–

    • Mon (Imma girl) says:

      Melanie ๐Ÿ‘ญ๐Ÿ‘ผ๐Ÿ˜ป๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿข๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿค๐Ÿฃ

      I know. I have to. I have a deep scar in my consciousness that will take long time to heal. I wish I could go out. I really do. But to do that I have to “work hatd” for studying as Mmom wants and I get sick so often. I attended the center while sick and I am serious about my studies. I jist have to physically get better. I need to exercise too once the…. time of the month is over too ๐Ÿ˜‚ Thanks Mela i.e.. thanks so much for caring so much. I love you ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š

      • Melanie (DoesItEvenMatterWhoIReallyAm?) says:

        I love you too sweet girl. You know what is best for YOU. Don’t let other people walk all over you. You’re strong. Be well my sweet. You will heal. ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

      • Melanie (DoesItEvenMatterWhoIReallyAm?) says:

        You’re welcome honey. I’m merely telling you what I would have told my younger self… and thank you! ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹

  3. miusho says:

    Eh.. my siblings have a lot of resentment towards my mother as well.. I think resentment is a wasteful feeling.. But, one cannot decide to just stop feeling it. Don’t let it consume you, Mon. You’re a great person and you deserve better!

  4. sonofabeach96 says:

    If you’re like I used to be, you’re suppressing that anger and resentment. If this is the case, be careful. It’ll eventually find its way to the surface, like a volcano erupting. That’s what happened in my case, at least. Hell, I’m 46 and still dealing with the parental resentment shit. The sooner you process it and move on the better. I know that’s difficult when you still live with her, but you won’t always.

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