I am giving in to my medications. After the triumph of Tania, I realized that I couldn’t inferior A’ Level results. I know, I am basing my success on grades. And I need it.
I need to listen to my doctor too; It’s time I learnt that I don’t have power over my mind. I can’t study; I can’t focus, as hard as I try. I drift away too often; I always do, but not to the extent where I abandon my studies. Mom was attuned to me on this. She said she was suspecting depression on my part because of it all. I think it is more of an”anxiety” problem than “depression”. But who knows? Is there much of a difference between them?
I despise this. I even hate not having control over my hormones. When I see good-looking people, my mind goes like, “NO! I SHALL NOT!” (LOL). Know what I am saying?
I agreed with Mom I will take my pills. Maybe I will be writing about my journey with anxiety-pills. Let’s see how ingesting pills go…again.
No. More. Hassle. Please. Mon? *sigh* No more holding back from what’s inevitable, no more pressing myself to “be normal”. I can’t buffer against pain on my own, as much as I like to believe, I need help.
I don’t have to be the hero.