Bonafide Crime

I wrote a comment on someone’s post because I was worried about them getting hurt. And it was obvious from their reply that they were offended. :I I think I was neutral in my statement, almost neutral. But the main lesson is….

Don’t tell the person you’re writing to about the person you are suspecting. I mean, I hate advice like, “You should instead,” etc. But when someone is writing it in a way that indicates that it is just their own thoughts- eg “In my opinion, I would..”- I don’t mind it; I appreciate it in fact. And that’s how I wrote it, but I also made brass judgment on what I thought was happening to them.

Mon, don’t. Don’t. Not if they don’t ask for your opinion. Even if you are worried. You can hurt feelings here without knowing. And the main reason I wrote is was SO that doesn’t happen to this person; although they might think I wrote it with complete disregard for their feelings. And if anyone has to think so, you will be carrying the guilt-ridden consequences. You become a conspirator in your own doom.

This has been on my mind awhile.And his person may forget who I even was, but things linger in my mind. And writing helps to get clarity. I shouldn’t comment on “grown-up”-ish posts anymore. No more of this. I mean, I usually don’t but when I think someone needs support, I give it. But no more if it means I make bold judgments on my part about what another person does to the person I am writing to.

I know this is a confusing post. Who am I even writing about? They shall be nameless. OK, thanks for reading.

30 thoughts on “Bonafide Crime

  1. willytyme says:

    Petite’, all you do is offer your opinion just like everyone else. They can either use your advice or take it with a grain of salt. I always comment on grown-up stuff while trying to sound intelligent, it tends to upset my parents but I do it anyways. Your opinion is what you are offering and there is no harm in that. I say if you are not seeking advice then get a diary. Don’t ever feel bad for saying what comes from the heart because the heart is never wrong. You are to good of a person to burden yourself upon the feelings of others. You can advise me any day lovely and I’ll take it with a smile. Don’t let it eat you up. Be happy you are giving them free advice, other whacks usually charge. ;o) Take care lovely.

  2. spykeyone says:

    This needed to be said, well done. I keep an eye on a few FB pages/groups related to my condition (EUPD) and am so often left aghast and in despair at some of the advice/opinions given to people crying out. Even the admins can be incredibly insensitive or offer inappropriate/unhelpful advice. The number of ‘Poor you huns xxx’ Or ‘I’ve been/felt like that too. I got through it so you will too’ really hacks me off – never helpful IMHO… (See what I did there?) 😉

    • Mon (Imma girl) says:

      Yeah. I know! Although, I was more IMHO than you 😉 But it does suck when someone is like that because it sounds more like, “I did it. So you f*cking can too now stop whining, b*tch!” OK, that was over-dramatic, but that’s how I think when someone gives advice. Although when someone gives their thoughts, that’s a different thing :I Thoughts I appreciate, being my mother…not that much xD

  3. sonofabeach96 says:

    It’s easy for things to get lost in translation when texting and/or messaging. They weren’t able to see the concern in your eyes or hear the caring in your voice. I’m sure you meant well. All you can do is apologize, if appropriate, and explain your sentiments, if they’ll listen. Don’t beat yourself up for it, and don’t stop caring.

  4. KJ says:

    ”Don’t say what you think about what
    someone does to whomever you talk to,
    even if they mention they aren’t sure about
    the other person”

    I’m lost, Mon

  5. miusho says:

    I wouldn’t worry too much about that.. You said what you felt was right and if they can’t accept your advice or opinion on that, so be it. A negative reply won’t ever stop me from saying what I think is right. 😛

  6. prospermind says:

    Hey, don’t take it personally. Oops, I meant: In my opinion I think you shouldn’t take it personally. ;P
    Maybe this person was just stressed and didn’t mean to react the way he/she did. You surely didn’t mean any harm by giving advice. It’s best to leave it alone and don’t worry about it. 😉

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