The Therapist I didn’t Talk About

I am feeling better now. See? No wait, you can’t.

Remember the Doctor’s visit where I was the guinea pig at the registration? Where all these students sat around me and I was in their midst? And my Mom had to talk for me because it was embarrassing to share my problems around them?

I found a lemon; the mental-lemon life handed me. And I made some cray-cray-lemonade.How? I won’t tell. OK, I will tell- I pretended to have WAY more “problems”.

As I sat there, I looked in the most crazy manner at the students. I didn’t move my head much but only “as much as I needed” to look at them as I used the pupils of my eyes to look freakily at the faces from the corner of my eyes . I looked back at the students who sat beside me. Maybe they were freaked out. Hopefully they were.

There were some disorganized papers. Another mental lemon! People with OCD tend to organize things. But they didn’t know I had a different form of OCD. But they didn’t have to know. So I organized the files “discreetly”-I silently used one hand and one finger to arrange them. I think I caught one boy’s attention and the girl beside him pretended to act like everything was going normal. Wow, they sure learnt the “Don’t be judmental” part in therapy.

There was a Hujur in front of me. Now, a Hujur is someone who is religious, dresses modestly in the most Islamic manner with loose clothing and light-colored clothing, preferably white (so it isn’t a “bright” color which doesn’t attract the attention of the opposite sex). The Hujur is humble, respects women, treats people gently and lowers his gaze around woman. Basically, the ideal, modest Muslim man. And that was the fun part.

The Hujur was helping with the registration. I cooked up some evil ideas. I mean, I respect people, especially pious people, but pious people tend to be a little serious about life and their manners. And I myself am a pious and serious Muslim.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want some fun 😛

I took the Hujur’s ruler and organized it on the table in an “orderly” manner in parallel to his own files. The Hujur wouldn’t be so cruel to criticize a mental patient. He was sitting there very silently pretending to not notice what I was doing. Then Mom put some files on the table for my prescriptions, which I “organized” before. And then after the doctor was done reading them, I “organized” them again. Very “discreetly”.

We didn’t spend much time in the room so I couldn’t do anything more. After I left a couple minutes later, I looked through the window of the room in a little creepy manner. I hope someone noticed it. Maybe after this class when they group together to gather what they learnt, one will say that the OCD girl kept staring though the window later.

If I was going to be “used” by people to be a guinea pig, I shall be a good guinea pig.

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