Nothing new

Warning: Negative post ahead.

I feel crap. I feel like a freak. I will close the comments now because I know all of you are reassuring but right now I can’t read anything. I just need to write and need someone to listen only.

Parents unfairly medicated me last week. We went to a homeopath some days ago and I thought I was getting a remedy for my physical symptoms. I learnt this yesterday when my Doctor was talking with Parents on my depression and in one full swoop I was taken aback. I sat there looking revengefully at the doctor’s table. Then I asked them whether they gave me depressants, Mom seemed a bit hesitant but the doctor said in affirmative, probably not knowing my resistance to new depressants.

But whatever. Yesterday I took another and for 3 minutes I was a normal person. Not as much worry in my body. I kept looking around. Everything looked “fresh-er” when I was less stressed. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the “worryless-ness” a while until the depression came back again.

My Mother is a b*tch. She makes me think of killing myself. Enough said. I hate talking about her. It’s time I focused on the things she did wrong more. No, I won’t kill myself. I haven’t killed myself the past 8 years; I plan on not doing something this horrible to myself now.