How I think Abuse Takes Place…..

These are ways I think bad people target good people. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Make sure you don’t catch up with these people ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Stage One: They target the person with a low sense of reality.

There are people who can see abuse as it is. AND there is the person who, because of his/her own past abuse causing his/her low self-esteem to mess with their sense of reality of what’s right or wrong for their worth, ends up as the target.

The abuser of the past convinced this person they were deserved for the abuse and pain. Hence, the victim grew up thinking everyone is essentially a good person (and abusers abuse for their own good) and that he/she can heal everyone with their kindness. And that everyone will appreciate their efforts and give back at least a little (for the immense amount of love they, in reality, deserve). This is how victims are often pained by the the frequent, “How could they be so mean?” personality too.

Stage Two: They Pamper them

They make sure this person has a false sense about the abuser being a good person who loves loving. Who appreciates that person. Even though abusers don’t have time for empathy but to fulfill that neurotic need to be in power and receive “supplies”, theyย  need to make their target believe they’re anything but that. And to start doing that, the simplest thing they start with is giving gifts, compliments, etc

Stage Three: They Make themselves the Victim

blue-stem-by-caseymitchell1.jpg

Image by caseymitchell

Tell them the broken 50-shades of fucked up you are (Yes, I believe Christian Gray is an Abuser :P). How you were abused as a child and could only heal with the love that person can give you. How women are fucking things up by getting raped because it is their own damn fault for wearing tight clothing (OK, you know what, this one sounds too obvious for them to label you an attention-whore fast). This way abusers gain sympathy from them as the People-Pleasers sees them as a “poor wilting flower” that needs “watering”.

Stage Four: They convince the targets that they’re mental.

No one can be perfect. And a bad man can let loose sometimes. So how do bad people get away with their bad-ness? Every time the target accuses them of the wrong, which they obviously did, the abusers mess with them, “I don’t recall doing anything like that,”, “No, you’re talking about someone else,’ “I am only doing it for you,”. “It was simply a joke!”, “You are such a cry-baby!” “It’s because I have an addiction to….” etc etc.

Stage Five: They Guilt Trip them

They tell the targets of all the “good” things they did for them (Read: Stage Two). How they can’t heal without them if the Pleasers don’t give their love back to them. How much money they spent for their gifts, only because they “love them”.

I mean, people-pleasers aren’t worth Abuser’s honesty (unless it helps them to their own advantage) So, Abusers ignore all the patience the Pleasers expended to live with them. How the Pleasers give back to the smelly a-hole the Abusers. So how do Abusers deal with not having the upper hand?

They just make the Pleasers forget about the good they did for you. I mean, if they knew their worth and the reality of the situation to begin with, they wouldn’t have chosen the Abuser anyway. And the abuser knows what makes the victim tick. No one can know people more than these people, in my opinion.


I was inspired to write this article after reading a lot of articles where there was an obvious abuse but women seemed to make excuses for those people :I I just saw the numerous amount of such women and thought I could help them out. Female abusers are real too (mine was female).

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36 thoughts on “How I think Abuse Takes Place…..

  1. Arushi Singh says:

    Hello ๐Ÿ™‚
    I can really relate to this post of yours and each and every stage is so true. I’ve been a victim of bullying and physical abuse myself. And while I was reading, it just made me realize how I feel for for each and every stage.
    Thank you for this ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. 2penthrupain says:

    This article is true for me too. Abuse is unrecognizable until you are in the thick of it. It took me a long time to stop the cycle from repeating, but I finally am free. That’s why I’m able to acknowledge it now. Thank you for writing it…Andrea ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Mon (Imma girl) says:

      I don’t know what to say ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Sorry to hear that ๐Ÿ˜ฆ *hugs*

      I actually researched the stages. And mine was from a parent so I went through some of it because I was already a child who only needed conditioning.

      • everywordyousay says:

        It’s okay, it happened a long time ago and I think my abuse helped me be the person I am today, so although I wish it hadn’t have happened there’s always a bright side. I’m so sorry ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Are you in a better situation now?

      • Mon (Imma girl) says:

        My situation is nothing compared to yours ๐Ÿ˜ฆ But yeah, I am getting a little better with my relationship with Mom and still in the process of healing my mind. Emotions are trickiest things and it will take a while for us :I Hugs to you and your boyfriend โค

      • everywordyousay says:

        Hey, don’t say that. You shouldn’t feel like your abuse is any lesser than mine, it still affects both of our lives and neither of us should have goner through it. I’m glad things are getting better though ๐Ÿ™‚ And thank you!!

  3. Ritu says:

    Heart felt article… My ‘could have been ‘ abuser was female, and luckily I managed to step out of the cycle before any real horror occurred, but it coloured my judgement for a long time…

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