These are ways I think bad people target good people. 😦 Make sure you don’t catch up with these people 😦
Stage One: They target the person with a low sense of reality.
There are people who can see abuse as it is. AND there is the person who, because of his/her own past abuse causing his/her low self-esteem to mess with their sense of reality of what’s right or wrong for their worth, ends up as the target.
The abuser of the past convinced this person they were deserved for the abuse and pain. Hence, the victim grew up thinking everyone is essentially a good person (and abusers abuse for their own good) and that he/she can heal everyone with their kindness. And that everyone will appreciate their efforts and give back at least a little (for the immense amount of love they, in reality, deserve). This is how victims are often pained by the the frequent, “How could they be so mean?” personality too.
Stage Two: They Pamper them
They make sure this person has a false sense about the abuser being a good person who loves loving. Who appreciates that person. Even though abusers don’t have time for empathy but to fulfill that neurotic need to be in power and receive “supplies”, they need to make their target believe they’re anything but that. And to start doing that, the simplest thing they start with is giving gifts, compliments, etc
Stage Three: They Make themselves the Victim
Tell them the broken 50-shades of fucked up you are (Yes, I believe Christian Gray is an Abuser :P). How you were abused as a child and could only heal with the love that person can give you. How women are fucking things up by getting raped because it is their own damn fault for wearing tight clothing (OK, you know what, this one sounds too obvious for them to label you an attention-whore fast). This way abusers gain sympathy from them as the People-Pleasers sees them as a “poor wilting flower” that needs “watering”.
Stage Four: They convince the targets that they’re mental.
No one can be perfect. And a bad man can let loose sometimes. So how do bad people get away with their bad-ness? Every time the target accuses them of the wrong, which they obviously did, the abusers mess with them, “I don’t recall doing anything like that,”, “No, you’re talking about someone else,’ “I am only doing it for you,”. “It was simply a joke!”, “You are such a cry-baby!” “It’s because I have an addiction to….” etc etc.
Stage Five: They Guilt Trip them
They tell the targets of all the “good” things they did for them (Read: Stage Two). How they can’t heal without them if the Pleasers don’t give their love back to them. How much money they spent for their gifts, only because they “love them”.
I mean, people-pleasers aren’t worth Abuser’s honesty (unless it helps them to their own advantage) So, Abusers ignore all the patience the Pleasers expended to live with them. How the Pleasers give back to the smelly a-hole the Abusers. So how do Abusers deal with not having the upper hand?
They just make the Pleasers forget about the good they did for you. I mean, if they knew their worth and the reality of the situation to begin with, they wouldn’t have chosen the Abuser anyway. And the abuser knows what makes the victim tick. No one can know people more than these people, in my opinion.
I was inspired to write this article after reading a lot of articles where there was an obvious abuse but women seemed to make excuses for those people :I I just saw the numerous amount of such women and thought I could help them out. Female abusers are real too (mine was female).