I haven’t been studying for a long time. I don’t want to take more pills because…….. I don’t want to rely on pills 😥 People don’t understand what it feels like to have to take pills to keep your sanity.

If I don’t take my pills the rest of the if something happens the blame is on me for breakdowns. Mother says we should go to the psychiatrist to add more pills because she says have become more depressed because haven’t been studying. I think I don’t want to study because I don’t feel very fit. I don’t know.

I want to be normal.  Less afraid. Less….. m.. m…. you know.  I use that word all the time.  I am so mental. I wish I wasn’t.


32 thoughts on “😵:o

  1. Sushmita says:

    Sometimes, it’s okay to take pills. I suffer from social anxiety and depression. I have taken pills in the past. Besides the suggestions given by other people, I would like to share a technique that has helped me (i read it in a book). Whenever a thought is troubling you, sit down and write that statement. Please do this exercise on paper not verbally.

    Let’s say the thought is: I am worthless.

    Ask these questions:

    1. Is the statement true?

    2. Can you absolutely know it’s true?
    Can you say with 100 percent certainty that this statement is true?

    3. Who would you be without this thought?
    Imagine a state where you didn’t have the ability to think this thought. How would your life will be?

    4. How do you treat yourself and others when you think this thought?
    Do you become harsh on yourself? Do you hurt yourself? How do you treat others? Do you become self absorbed?

    5. Turn the statement around: Write down the opposite of the statement. (If you have written a statement like “He is always complaining” change it into “he is not complaining” and then change it to “I am complaining”)
    So, “I am worthless” becomes “I am not worthless.” Can you think of 5 instances where you were not worthless? Write them down.

    DO this exercise for all your negative thoughts. At first, you will feel silly. But after some time, you will realize that you will automatically start questioning your harmful assumptions about yourself and others. It worked for me.

  2. mairacharmed says:

    I do understand you, Mon. It’s good that you’re not keeping it all inside. You should turn to what makes you happy. If it’s writing, as it must be from what I see on your blog, so be it. You are wonderful, strong and beautiful human being. You can be both funny and serious. You are honest. You are…xenodochial :)) We’ve just met, but you made me feel like I’ve known you for a long time. And being normal is sooo boring, don’t you agree? :))

  3. mcfliptables says:

    This may sound weird, but may I suggest painting? Nothing meticulous and planned, not even anything expensive. Just the paper and you. Don’t think, just splat anything and everything on the paper. It may seem strange, but I always find that making a colorful mess is relieving. Or you can use coffee, that way you create a beautiful mess that is accompanied with the aromas of breakfast 🙂
    On my darkest days, I’ll paint clouds for hours. Just clouds because I’m a bit loopy.

  4. ruth ann scanzillo says:

    You are heard. Keep writing. And, be sure to get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, for several nights in a row. Try not to sleep more than 8 hours, but do get 8. See if that helps. The body needs sleep to function properly on all cylinders, and the right amount of that sleep. Have you ever been checked for sleep apnea? If you have sleep apnea, your brain is not getting enough oxygen, and that could be causing much of your problem. Getting sleep apnea diagnosed and treated can be life changing. Go find someone who can test you for sleep apnea. I really mean this! ❤

      • ruth ann scanzillo says:

        You may have sleep apnea. You think you are sleeping longer than 8 hours, but in reality you may be experiencing episodes of apnea, which cause you to stop breathing. This makes you stay in bed longer, in order to get more actual sleep. Please – see a doctor about this!

  5. willytyme says:

    Some people know how it feels to rely on modern medicine to keep your sanity, I feel you. But I must pose the question, “What is normal?” I’d rather be unique than normal which is what you are. Truth be told, it’s normal people that scares me.

  6. miusho says:

    I heard nutrition helps a lot but that may be a myth.. I must admit I feel a lot better mentally after I started eating healthy. Definitely worth a try!
    I don’t think you’d be completely the same person if you had lived somewhere else though. 😮

  7. sonofabeach96 says:

    I find that music can help me through troubles. Physical activity as well, good stress release and endorphins are terrific little buggers. Favorite hobby? Get lost in it. And writing/journaling, both are helping me.

  8. Tony Burgess says:

    Try meditation, nutrition and perhaps some herbal stuff to help your heart and soul. Of course journaling and blogging can help you organize thoughts so you can help your mind settle down. Just saying.

Please write! :'(

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