Wrong Won’t Escape No More.

My feelings don’t matter thus

I can’t find what to ask for. I forgot

What my opinions even where.

.

Opinions.Judgment. Views.

Traumatizing me at this game

of hide-and-seek which I only

was good at finding when

I was little with that untouched view.

.

I had opinions once

I am gaining them back again.

All my life I was taught,

I was mental, my thoughts have run amok.

Until I did believe them and

had to turned to many….

antidepressants.

.

I have to heal today.

Within next week. Or in a decade.

Read articles on recovery.

Because all this blame

hasn’t gotten me that safe haven I crave.

I have to try. Like I did to before. But now,

the next step in growing, to

access my inner Mon.

.

“Mom, come back home!

My thoughts scare me”

I call. “Mom came back home!”

“Everything will be alright!” she sobbed. Well.

My thoughts were chafed by you,

if you let go of them, who will manage them, now?

When I have been left to alone?

.

Now, I am growing.

Lost in thoughts

not belonging to myself.

Difficulty in seeing the bad..

even when,

I see people murdering tiny, little souls.

.

I’ve hardly seen the bad in them,

but only the one in me.

When others would send pain onto me,

I would find excuses only since, “They wouldn’t do it…

if there wasn’t something wrong with me.

Yeah?

If there wasn’t something to hate about me!”

.

I thought I was understanding.

But realized I was people-pleasing.

Right now,

When I see someone do bad.

I need to slice and dice them.

Right here.

On the spot. .

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