Feminist Guilt

Everyday I worry about my body “issues”; the media has made it so clear what’s beautiful and what’s not.

“Hey, I am a feminist, I shouldn’t be sexualizing myself”.

And then I look at the mirror:

“No, I need to look better. My boobs need to look bigger. My nose needs to be sharper. My skin needs to be brighter, flawless. My stomach needs to be flatter (it does, but I don’t think about the health-related motivations but rather to “look pretty”)”.

Inspired by the post: Feminist Guilt

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48 thoughts on “Feminist Guilt

  1. Tessa says:

    Don’t listen to the media. They are the cause of so many women having identity crises. I don’t like or wear makeup. I am not dressed fashionably (can’t afford it anyhow). You take me as I am or don’t take me. I am not changing for the MEDIA.

  2. hbhatnagar says:

    Don’t see the problem with that, unless you want a label to identify with, in which case I think “feminist!!!” is just as good as YSL or CK. They serve the same purpose. 🙂

  3. miusho says:

    I wouldn’t call myself a feminist as I hate labels with a passion. But I am for equality.
    I also want a flatter tummy and less of a behind but that has nothing to do with beauty through the eyes of media. It has everything to do with the size of my behind and the fact that if I gain too much weight, I look pregnant. I don’t want to LOOK pregnant until I AM pregnant. -_-

    Oh. I also don’t want to buy new clothes. I like my clothes. My clothes are pretty.

      • miusho says:

        Just stop focussing on “beauty” and dump those magazines, fashion blogs, media sites, tv… Eh. I guess it doesn’t work for everyone. 😛

        But. Imagine what you find beautiful and project that onto yourself. Don’t think of make-up or the like.. Think of natural beauty. No one is perfect. Did you see that morning picture of Naomi Campbell? 😮 She looks so normal!

      • Mon (is a Girl's Name) says:

        I don’t have beauty mags or anything 😄 But I can’t refuse my T.V and the abundance of beauty products that brings with it in the advertisements. Maybe I should just take breaks, close my eyes and turn the volume down during adds. :I

        And yes, she looks so pretty without make-up! 😀

      • miusho says:

        I don’t mind beauty products but I have accepted what nature gave me. I will never consider plastic surgery unless my face melts off. 😛

        This all may be because I never got bullied for my looks… HMM. I never did get called ugly. 😮

      • miusho says:

        I got bullied because I “smelled” which was a total lie ofcourse. I became obsessed with smelling good. Now? Not so much. It helps when you have someone telling you you’re pretty/ smell good every day. 😮

    • Mon (is a Girl's Name) says:

      Yeah :I It used to be “skinny girls” and now it turned to “meat-y but *still* skinny girls” 😦 I can’t compete with that, I don’t have the curves that media shows, even when I get skinny, I will be loosing curves. It makes me feel pathetic because I think about this every single day 😦

      • willytyme says:

        Don’t think like that, don’t you dare petite’. If that is the way you are thinking now, then going over to the Land of the Free will have an ill effect on you cause their thinking is a lot worse. Do not corrupt your mind with fashion model, rapper back up dancers, and cheerleader images. People should view themselves according to how they are on the inside, if they still feel the way they do, then they need to change and that has nothing to do with looks. Life is not a competition based on looks, cup size and curves. I’d rather have a girl confident in herself than obsessed on her looks. One should never feel in inadequate, I’ve never seen you but I’m willing to bet you’re beautiful the way you are.

      • Mon (is a Girl's Name) says:

        Hello, WIlly 🙂 Thanks for the inspirational thoughts. Yeah. It’s hard when you’ve been seeing Western shows (and not saying my own country doesn’t show such standards, my country is a bit shy about expressing such things but if you watch the films, you will see they are simply talking about beauty standards with their actresses :I) where they can freely show the butt of a pornstar on the mag and make everyone wow over it like, “Hey, look! I am meat!”

        I am not blaming boys, but I have heard conversations. Some used these stupid codes like, “Big oranges and water melons” and who has them and how much they’d rate on a scale of 1-10 very openly in front of other females. I know, I myself judge this same way and it’s really a BIG, BIG journey before I stop believing other people’s standards and that beauty is simply a state of being a loving, spiritual creation in this world. It’s only starting to bud in me, I know I will blossom soon. I simply ask for time to heal me and myself to love and take care of me.

        And you’re right. I think confidant women are hot too, even when they don’t meet the “standards” they certainly look better than the low-self-esteemed girls *with* “standards”.

        Thank you so much! 🙂

      • willytyme says:

        You are more than welcome lovely, and boys will be boys but don’t worry because at some point maturity will set in on them. A confident lady had already one upped the competition and I’ll take that any day. We are all waiting to blossom into the flower we are to be but loving who you are right now is a very big part of who you will grow out to be. Take care beautiful, and keep writing! I love reading your stuff. ;o)

      • Mon (is a Girl's Name) says:

        Willy! 😀 You’re lightening up my heart so much that I could fly! 😀 Thank so, yes, that actually gives me hope 😄 And I will get matured, too and stop obsessing perhaps 😄 Thank you, WIlly!

      • willytyme says:

        You have one of the cutest auras just by the way you respond to things, I love it. Don’t get too obsessed over yourself, leave that for society to do, you just be you. Stay up sunshine.

  4. Tony Burgess says:

    I am a feminist too…I think women should be empowered to be the best they can be on their own terms. As a man its not up to me to tell a woman how to live their lives or to have any control over them. I adore the women in my life and I want them to have the same opportunities.

    • Mon (is a Girl's Name) says:

      Eepp, T-Bird! This will sound very sexist and un-feminist-ic of me but every time I hear about a new male-feminist, I squeak (just like I did now. Sorry, it’s just I have been stuck in my rotten culture for too long and want to escape to the land of mostly freedom, America, for equality and opportunities for women like myself :D). Thank you, Tony! 🙂 You can share any advice you like, I have a lot to learn from my elders 😀 I appreciate your support. Thank you ❤

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