I have always wondered. Even when I find the bad in someone, how come I try to “get to the bottom of it”? When I see someone misbehaving, I am angry, yes. But I also make some conclusions, “Oh. She is like this because all she does is focus on her job and became nuts”, “Oh, he does this because his mother never treated him well so ever since he was a child, he simply subconsciously had it in him that this is the way life works”, etc etc.
And for my Mom, I don’t think I idolize her…..that much. But I feel guilty everyday. Guilty for not being able to cook. Guilty for not having any desire to study but rather get hung up on the internet. Guilty.
Today, I showed Mom the rainbow thingy that’s over our wordpress header and told her, “Gay marriage has been legalized, Mom!” TBH, I AM a religious person. I am bisexual too. And I wouldn’t have such relations with women because it’s not according to my religion, but as I said previously, other people’s lives are other people’s to live. A Gay person can have something to disagree with me too! I am more into acceptance than judgment because the latter won’t do justice, we have free-will.
“Gay marriage has been legalized across all the states in US, Ma!”
“Mon. I SIMPLY CANNOT believe you are EXCITED over such a thing!”
“Mom, it’s not that I agree with it. I am just telling you the news like it is. Look, see the rainbow thingy on my header? It’s a sign for this gay-marriage-thing”.
“Don’t tell me of things that upset me”
“It’s not like I support it” (“But I accept it” I said to myself mentally)
Boy, that was…something. 😮
Anyhow, where was I? Oh yeah. Idolizing.
Is it crazy that I accept Mom as she is even though I get upset at her? Sometimes I am like, “Parenting is more than providing money and cooking for your children,” soon again, I am like, “But Mom DOES give things beyond that…..she jokes around with me, shares stories with me, etc.” And it’s not like anyone is perfect, but is it too much to expect my Mother to be more sensitive to me? I very well know that all that she does is because she thinks it will benefit me, but….is am I asking too much if you benefit me more gently?