Mon Prompt: Angry Household

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Childhood Revisited.”

Mom may not remember it but I do; she used to she beat me. She laughs to this day, saying, “Why would you ever think that!?” How can a child forget about their mother beating them? I remember she would lose her anger and then get annoyed often (even today). Today I can stomach the disappointment I once had with my Mom, but maybe because I don’t have to deal with it anymore.

I might’ve been 4 then (I have a great memory, I can recall back to details from a memory from when I was 3), the first memory of Mom beating me.Β  I had used the wrong soap (there was one for washing my hands after dinner and the other for after doing my business in the bathroom), and she pulled up my hair. Gave this face. I remember her looking ugly and like a monster. She was all, “HEY! YOU USED THE WRONG SOAP….” and said some other things I won’t mention.

I didn’t understand at that time why there’d to be a separate soap for anything. I didn’t understand a lot of things and that’s where Mom’s anger took place. I had to be the perfect, knowledgeable child.

I have always kept these memories in my mind along with the lessons I took from them. I guess that’s how my empathy grew. I have always kept in mind that sometimes, people may not just know things. (Although, I have later learnt that a lot of people do bad things from KNOWING too much, if you know what I mean). I have always kept in mind, there are two sides to a story, things are never black and white- from a young age. I promised myself I would not behave this way with my own children.

It feels like too much to hold onto. I sometimes wondered if my Mom was the cause of my OCD tendencies- it may be genetics OR programmed. I believe it can be programmed because….of past experience.

My fears eased as I got bigger. Today I am taller than Mom and I believe I passed the line of “can be beaten ‘cos she’s a child”.

I love my Mom dearly. I just wish she was more patient with me.


27 thoughts on “Mon Prompt: Angry Household

  1. soumichatterjeenath says:

    Dear friend…Your post made me nostalgic..I think most of us have got some hits and ear rollings in our childhood days….Though it was scary for me at that time…Yet I miss those days and the-then scary moments now bring smile on my face…Hope to cross each other many more times

    • Mon says:

      I miss those days MINUS the beating, LOL! I love my Mom to pieces, I just didn’t want her to….you know.

      I sometimes wonder that if physical maturity meant no longer meant to be beaten? It doesn’t sound right. Nowadays she wouldn’t dare beat me like she did before because I have grown and can somewhat help myself.

      Just because I was an infant and helpless to her need didn’t mean…*sigh* I don’t know :/

      Thanks for your thoughts ❀ I hope we cross each other πŸ™‚ My internet friends are the greatest, haha πŸ™‚

    • Mon says:

      Yes, no one is alone at this. It doesn’t define us, although I let it to the point of depression, but it healed with time. Thank you :*

  2. Nitin Chandran Nair says:

    Ouch! I think that’s how we learnt as kids…probably your Mom didn’t want you to teach wrong things to your children and thus, wanted you to be her perfect child. πŸ™‚ Mom’s are always GREAT!

    • Mon says:

      It just took a long time getting over what Mom did. But I will learn from this lesson and know how much something that might seem small to others can have such an impact on young children.

      I know Mom did this out of a place of love and concern and that’s why I still love her ❀ Yes, Moms are great πŸ™‚

    • Mon says:

      Nope. Most people aren’t really alone in bad things happening to them :I I am sorry for you, too ❀ Thank you ❀

  3. lovetotrav says:

    It is clear that you love your mom a lot. And I am certain, just being aware of how you felt, you will break that cycle when you have your own children.

Please write! :'(

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s